Sketch War

Category: Wrapups

Wrapups of weekly sketch battles

  • Friday Night Sketch Skirmish: Christmas Presents Edition

    Coyote is indisposed for another week, but he reports back that Turkish prisons are surprisingly easy to escape from and that Mediterranean yachts are surprisingly easy to commandeer, so he’ll be back for wrapups next week.

    This time around: sure it was Christmas, sure we were all busy, but the Sketch War train stops for no holiday! Well, okay, it does slow down a bit — this week we did a one-time only “sketch skirmish” of two-line scenes on the topic “Christmas Presents”.

    Stay tuned for next week, when we ring in the new year with sketches about resolutions!

    As always, Sketch War is open to anyone who wants to participate. All you have to do this week is write a sketch about resolutions and contact us at sketchwar at dreamloom dot com.

  • Friday Night Sketch War: 3:34am Edition

    Coyote is temporarily indisposed, and has left it to me to sum up the latest Friday Sketch War. Since I’m lazy, I’ll subcontract the job out to Mr. Joey Weitzman:

    Alright, this week they didn’t <bleep> around, they were all, “Yeah, we’re so <bleep>ing hard we can do any <bleep>ing topic we want.”

    So somebody was all, “Oh yeah? <bleep> it, let’s write sketches about ‘3:34am’!”

    And another <bleep> was all, “That’s not funny at all!”

    And then they punched that guy in the face. And they said, “Yeah, this week’s <bleep>ing topic is 3:34am! We can do this <bleep> because we are bad-<bleep> mother<bleep>ers.”

    • So then Coyote writes this sketch about Jared, who’s just tryin’ to sleep, man. I’ll bet that, like, he’s really a ninja, and he’s all “<bleep> it, my master says not to bust out killing people,” and he’s all, like, conflicted and stuff.
    • And then Ken’s like, “Whut whut?” and he throws down this sketch about Santa. Yeah, you might think Santa’s all weak and <bleep>. Think again. Santa will <bleep> you up.
    • And finally Peter slammed down this one, which is like THIS CLOSE to having a unicorn in it. Yeah, you might think you’re awesome, but you’re sure as <bleep> not UNICORN-AWESOME.

    I don’t know which fighter won, but I do know for positively <bleep>ing certain that that “not-funny” lost. Yeah.

    Thanks, Joey!

    This coming Friday is the day after Christmas, so we have a unique holiday challenge. The “Sketch Skirmish” is to come up with the best two-line scene on the topic “Christmas Presents”. Then, on January second, we resume normal Sketch Wars.

  • Friday Night Sketch War: First Dates Edition

    W00t! Welcome to the new home for Sketch War. In our first battle in the new stadium, three warriors gave their all. Ninjas, knives, guns, God’s wrath, lightning, and truthiness. Two talky-talky sketches against one without a word.

    Not bad for the first go ’round here in our new digs. I just wish I could figure out where the blood drains in the kill pit are.

    Next week’s topic is 3:34AM. Peter made three suggestions, two of them were nice and conventional. So of course I picked his third. But like Sky Masterson…

    My time of day is the dark time
    A couple of deals before dawn
    When the street belongs to the cop
    And the janitor with the mop
    And the grocery clerks are all gone.

    If you want to play along, write a sketch and send it, or a link to it, to sketchwarNOSPAM@dreamloom.com. And be sure to come back next Friday for more humor and mayhem.

  • Friday Night Sketch War: Learning Something New About History Edition

    Another tough topic, though not nearly as painful, or likely to make a grown man cry and jump on a couch, as Oprah. Again, we had three warriors enter the fray. They acquitted themselves well.

    Three solid sketches on a beyatch of a topic. Next week’s topic: first dates.

    If you want to play along, write a sketch and send a link to it to sketchwar at dreamloom.com. And be sure to come back next Friday when we’re hoping to have a few new competitors.

  • Friday Night Sketch War: Oprah Edition

    Yours truly – like many before him – fell under the spell of one Ms. Oprah Gail Winfrey’s hypnotic powers. I thought to myself did I, “oh, Oprah would make a great theme for Sketch War. So many topics. So many sketch ideas. This will be great!” She’s ephemeral. Like a ghost, or Duke Nukem Forever, just when you think you’ve got a firm grasp on her she disappears.

    We all struggled this week and weren’t able to bring our usual B-games. Still, there are a few chuckles to be had. Next week, in what is hopefully an easier topic, Peter’s selected learning something new about history.

    If you want to play along, write a sketch and send a link to it to sketchwar at dreamloom.com. And be sure to come back next Friday when we’re hoping to have a few new competitors.

  • Friday Night Sketch War: Horrible Holidays Edition

    The battle continues apace; tonight we’re joined by a new warrior. Fresh-faced and unscathed from previous battles, will Peter Rogers kill or cower, fight or flee?

    This week’s theme is brought to us by one of our legion of fans: horrible family holidays.

    Next week, in honor of the orgy of food and retail shopping, the theme will be…Oprah!!!

    If you want to play along, write a sketch and send a link to it to sketchwar at dreamloom.com. And be sure to come back on Friday for fun, fun, fun!

  • Friday Night Sketch War: Autumn Edition

    A two-man grapple in Sketch Stadium this week, as Coyote challenges Ken. Last week’s secret ingredient was autumn. In Battle Autumn, whose cuisine sketch reigns supreme?!

    Next week’s theme, provided in comments by @tjonsek, is horrible family holidays.

    If you want to play along, write a sketch and send a link to it to sketchwar at dreamloom.com. And be sure to come back on Friday for fun, fun fun. 

  • Friday Night Sketch War: Reconciliation Edition

    In the battle of the sketches, he who comes first gets trampled by those who follow. But those who follow trip on the landmines of the first. Don’t you ever forget that.

    Next week’s theme, picked by me again ’cause I wasn’t smart enough to ask anyone else to do it, will be autumn. For the boys in Chicago, it might seem a bit late, but for those of us who do NOT live on the shores of the coldest lake in the universe, it seems about right.

    If you want to play along, write a sketch and send a link to it to sketchwar at dreamloom.com. And be sure to come back on Friday for fun, fun fun.

  • Friday Night Sketch War: Trick of Treat Edition

    Again, I’ve *got* to pick up the pace with these wrapups. Soon, I’ll be posting them five minutes before sticking up my last-minute entries for the following week. But it’s here, so let’s take a look-see.

    Again we asked our legion of fans to leave comments on our sites with theme suggestions for this week. Again our legion of fans let us down. We’d be upset, but we do so love you. So our mothers *will* be continuing to pay your mothers to be nice to us for at least one more week. So this week’s theme, in honor of the mood of the day, is reconciliation.

    If you want to play along, write a sketch and send a link to it to sketchwar at dreamloom.com. And be sure to come back on Friday for fun, fun fun.

  • Friday Night Sketch War: Mad Scientist Edition

    Coming a wee bit late with this wrapup, but I held out hope that Mr. Brownlee was going to get a late shot off in the battle by Monday. Alas, the originator of last Friday’s excellent theme was too bloodied from his week in the paper cut factory. But we did have a good fight. Three funny sketches were lobbed onto the field, each exploding with mad scientifical goodness.

    An extreme dearth of comments from our combined visitors left us scrambling for a theme for this All Hallow’s Eve edition of the Sketch War. See, we wanted our three or four fans to pick themes and y’all let us down. I have a good mind to tell *our* mothers to stop paying *your* mothers to come read our sketches! Nah. Who am I kidding: the checks will continue.

    Anyway, Ken’s selected an appropos theme:
    Trick OR Treat: an option; scenes involve a trick, a treat, or both.

    If you want to play along, write a sketch and send a link to it to sketchwar at dreamloom.com. Otherwise, come back around on Friday for some ghoulish fun.