{"id":9,"date":"2008-02-15T07:48:00","date_gmt":"2008-02-15T15:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wwwold.sketchwar.org\/?p=9"},"modified":"2008-02-15T07:48:00","modified_gmt":"2008-02-15T15:48:00","slug":"friday-sketch-war","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/?p=9","title":{"rendered":"Friday Sketch War"},"content":{"rendered":"

I wrote a sketch and posted it<\/a>. Richard did the same<\/a> and challenged me <\/a>to a Sketch War. This will, hopefully, be an ongoing exercise, which you are free to join us in. Simply write a sketch and post it on your blog every Friday. Be sure to let me or Richard<\/a> know about it and we’ll post links to it. I haven’t seen one from Richard yet, but he’s in a different time zone, so I’m just assuming he’s still in bed. But Dave<\/a>, the early bird, has already lobbed the first sketch grenade<\/a> of the day and it’s pretty damn funny.<\/em>
<\/em>
Update: <\/span>Richard has launched an assault<\/a>. (Not to be confused with an insult<\/a>.)<\/span><\/p>\n

But enough chit-chat! Once more unto the breech dear friends!<\/em>
<\/em>
“A Dream Upon Waking”<\/p>\n

(Mary #1 stands in the middle of the stage wearing a surgical gown. Dr. Peter enters with a chart.)<\/p>\n

MARY #1: Give it to me straight, doc. I\u2019m dying aren\u2019t I?<\/p>\n

PETER: No no no. But I am going to need you to tell me why your father loved your sister more than you.<\/p>\n

MARY: Well, I suppose, I wasn\u2019t enough of a tomboy for him.<\/p>\n

PETER: Oh Mary, this isn\u2019t good. It isn\u2019t good at all.<\/p>\n

(Jerry races in and shakes Mary.)<\/p>\n

JERRY: Mary, wake up! You\u2019re dreaming.<\/p>\n

(Jerry races off.)<\/p>\n

PETER: Now, Mary I\u2019m just going to take off my pants and we\u2019ll continue the examination.<\/p>\n

(Peter begins unbuckling his pants. The lights shift to another part of the stage and Mary #2 is sitting at table having coffee with Denise.)<\/p>\n

MARY #2: And then I woke up.<\/p>\n

DENISE: A doctor, with no pants, talking about your father? Sounds like a perverted sex dream to me.<\/p>\n

MARY #2: Everything is sex to you.<\/p>\n

DENISE: That\u2019s because I\u2019m a man trapped in a woman\u2019s body.<\/p>\n

MARY #2: You\u2019re a lesbian?<\/p>\n

DENISE: No. I\u2019m a man trapped in a woman\u2019s body.<\/p>\n

(Jerry races in and shakes Mary #2)<\/p>\n

JERRY: Mary, wake up! Wake up!<\/p>\n

(Jerry runs off. Denise removes her wig and begins to unbuckle her pants.)<\/p>\n

DENISE: Now you tell me if you\u2019ve ever seen a unit this big in the girl\u2019s locker room before.<\/p>\n

(The lights shift to another part of the stage and Mary #3 is talking to Chip in the office break room.)<\/p>\n

MARY #3: And it was me, but it wasn\u2019t me, you know?<\/p>\n

CHIP: I hate dreams like that.<\/p>\n

(Jerry races in.)<\/p>\n

JERRY: Seriously Mary, Wake Up!<\/p>\n

(Jerry races off. Dr. Peter enters without his pants.)<\/p>\n

PETER: Ah, there you are. If you would kindly bend over that table we can continue with the examination.<\/p>\n

(The lights shift to another part of the stage. Mary #1, Mary #2 and Mary #3 are standing next to each other.)<\/p>\n

MARY #3: This can\u2019t be good.<\/p>\n

MARY #2: I wouldn’t think so.<\/p>\n

MARY #1: You guys want to make out?<\/p>\n

(The three Marys look at one another. They shrug their shoulders.)<\/p>\n

MARY #2\/MARY #3: Sure.<\/p>\n

(The lights go out on stage and single spot comes up on Jerry sitting in the audience. He awakens with a start and looks around at everyone looking at him.)<\/p>\n

JERRY: Damn it. You always wake up before the best part.<\/p>\n

(Dr. Peter, still pantless, appears behind Jerry.)<\/p>\n

PETER: All righty then. If you\u2019ll just bend over we can continue the examination.<\/p>\n

BLACKOUT<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I wrote a sketch and posted it. Richard did the same and challenged me to a Sketch War. This will, hopefully, be an ongoing exercise, which you are free to join us in. Simply write a sketch and post it on your blog every Friday. Be sure to let me or Richard know about it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[80,182,236],"class_list":["post-9","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-funny-ha-ha","tag-sketch-war","tag-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}