I always loved these guys. Just wondering what they’d be up to now.<\/p>\n
INT. HIGH RISE BUILDING -- NIGHT<\/p>\n
Frankie and Willie, two very New York sounding night watchmen, patrol the hallways of an office building in Manhattan. They check doors as they walk and talk.<\/p>\n
FRANKIE<\/p>\n
Hey there, Willie.<\/p>\n
WILLIE<\/p>\n
Evening, Frankie, how are you doing?<\/p>\n
FRANKIE<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know, you know, Willie, the way the world is going these days, I wouldn\u2019t be surprised if we ended up in the, uh-<\/p>\n
WILLIE<\/p>\n
Bread line?<\/p>\n
FRANKIE<\/p>\n
Yeah, the bread line before winter.<\/p>\n
WILLIE<\/p>\n
I know what you mean. The other night I-I-I was watching one of those, um, what do you call \u2018ems?<\/p>\n
FRANKIE<\/p>\n
News programs?<\/p>\n
WILLIE<\/p>\n
Yeah. Yeah. I was watching a news program and they were talking about massive layoffs. Skyrocketing unemployment. People fighting for food. It was terrifying.<\/p>\n
FRANKIE<\/p>\n
You want to talk about terrifying? Last summer I got one of those, um-<\/p>\n
WILLIE<\/p>\n
Subprime loans?<\/p>\n
FRANKIE<\/p>\n
Right. No money down. No credit check. It was fantastic.<\/p>\n
WILLIE<\/p>\n
Sounds fantastic.<\/p>\n
FRANKIE<\/p>\n
Who wouldn\u2019t accept such a fantastic loan? But now? Now my house is being foreclosed. I got nowhere to sleep.<\/p>\n
WILLIE<\/p>\n
Ooooh. I hate when that happens!<\/p>\n
FRANKIE<\/p>\n
I know, right?<\/p>\n
WILLIE<\/p>\n
It\u2019s like this one time I-I-I went out and, uh, and bought one those, uh-<\/p>\n
FRANKIE<\/p>\n
Hummers?<\/p>\n
WILLIE<\/p>\n
\u2018Cause I enjoy off-roading in the outdoors a great deal. But then the price of gas. Phew! And now I can\u2019t even sell it for scrap metal.<\/p>\n
FRANKIE<\/p>\n
I hate when that happens.<\/p>\n
WILLIE<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t even get me started on the-the-the um,<\/p>\n
FRANKIE<\/p>\n
Wall Street fat cats?<\/p>\n
WILLIE<\/p>\n
Right. For a while I was having my paycheck direct deposited into my hedge fund because my money manger said it was a no-brainer.<\/p>\n
FRANKIE<\/p>\n
Oh no.<\/p>\n
WILLIE<\/p>\n
Oh yes. I\u2019ve only eaten popcorn and dryer lint, which I have to wrestle homeless people for, for the past three months.<\/p>\n
FRANKIE<\/p>\n
I hate when that happens. At least you\u2019re getting some fiber, though. That\u2019s good.<\/p>\n
WILLIE<\/p>\n
It\u2019s gotten to the point where I-I-I think about, um, doing that, you know-<\/p>\n
FRANKIE<\/p>\n
Taking your own life?<\/p>\n
WILLIE<\/p>\n
Exactly. If bullets didn\u2019t cost so much, I-I-I would put one in my brain.<\/p>\n
FRANKIE<\/p>\n
That\u2019s a stinker too, boy. You only need the one bullet, but they want to sell you the whole box!<\/p>\n
WILLIE<\/p>\n
I know!<\/p>\n
FRANKIE & WILLIE<\/p>\n
I hate when that happens!<\/p>\n
FRANKIE<\/p>\n
Well, I think I\u2019m going to head up to seven, make use of the office shower room.<\/p>\n
WILLIE<\/p>\n
Good idea. I\u2019m going to head down to five, see if the cleaning ladies missed any left-over donuts.<\/p>\n
FRANKIE<\/p>\n
Good night, Willie.<\/p>\n
WILLIE<\/p>\n
Good night, Frankie.<\/p>\n
They exit in opposite directions.<\/p>\n
FADE OUT:<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I always loved these guys. Just wondering what they’d be up to now. [fountain] INT. HIGH RISE BUILDING \u2013 NIGHT Frankie and Willie, two very New York sounding night watchmen, patrol the hallways of an office building in Manhattan. They check doors as they walk and talk.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[186],"class_list":["post-815","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-snl-characters"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/815","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=815"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/815\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=815"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=815"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=815"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}