INT. GAME SHOW STUDIO<\/p>\n
Our host, BERT, is standing next to contestant, VANESSA. Beside them is a large wheel with words like \u201cBludgeon\u201d, \u201cKnee-Cap\u201d, \u201cPapercuts & Lemon Juice\u201d and \u201cLight \u2018Em Up!\u201d printed on it.<\/p>\n
BERT
\nWelcome back to Make \u2018Em Pay, the game show where Average Joe\u2019s get to take out their frustrations on John Q. WallStreet and Congressman Do-Nothing. I\u2019m here with today\u2019s grand prize winner Vanessa. Vanessa, are you feeling better yet?<\/p>\n
VANESSA
\nWhen do I win money?<\/p>\n
BERT
\nNow, Vanessa, remember that not all the prizes have cash attached to them. Some of them have something even better: Revenge!<\/p>\n
The audience cheers! The curtain is opened to reveal a corral of men in business suits. They are all a little worse for wear. A few try to climb out of the pen, but are met with large men wielding electric cattle prods.<\/p>\n
BERT
\nMr. Voice, who do we have for Vanessa today?<\/p>\n
Mr. Voice\u2019s voice comes through the speakers.<\/p>\n
MR. VOICE
\nWell, Bert, today Vanessa has a chance to thank former Bear Sterns CEO Jimmy Cayne. Jimmy sold off company stock, once valued at over $1 billion dollars, months before Bear Sterns went belly up and walked away with a cool $62 million golden parachute.<\/p>\n
BERT
\nHave you ever even seen $62 million dollars, Vanessa?<\/p>\n
VANESSA
\nI\u2019d suck your [BLEEP], with him watching, for fifty bucks.<\/p>\n
BERT
\nWhoa! Okay, Vanessa. Why don\u2019t you spin our Karma Wheel and see how we\u2019re going to –<\/p>\n
The audience chants it with him.<\/p>\n
BERT
\nMake. \u2018Em. Pay!<\/p>\n
The audience cheers! Vanessa spins the wheel.<\/p>\n
BERT
\nWhat\u2019s it going to be? Is he going to get off easy with Indian burns or are we going to see a Columbian neck-tie today?<\/p>\n
Jimmy is standing off to the side, rocking back and forth repeating \u201cIndian burns. Indian burns.\u201d<\/p>\n
The wheel slows. Everyone gets really excited as \u201cBranded\u201d rolls past, followed by \u201cAtomic Wedgie\u201d. They erupt into wild applause as the spinner stops. Lights flash and alarms sound!<\/p>\n
BERT
\nIt\u2019s Glutton for Greenbacks, Vanesssa!<\/p>\n
Jimmy struggles as the large men strap him down to a table and a beautiful model brings out a wheelbarrow full of cash. Vanessa begins jumping up and down.<\/p>\n
VANESSA
\nIs all that for me?<\/p>\n
BERT
\nThat depends on how hungry Jimmy here is.<\/p>\n
VANESSA
\nWhat do you mean?<\/p>\n
BERT
\nVanessa, you\u2019re going to start stuffing that money down Jimmy\u2019s throat and whatever goes down is yours to keep.<\/p>\n
Vanessa doesn\u2019t wait for Bert to finish, she sprints over to the table, squats over Jimmy\u2019s chest and starts cramming fistfuls of cash into his mouth.<\/p>\n
BERT
\nGet as much in there as you can, because whatever doesn\u2019t go in doesn\u2019t go home with you.<\/p>\n
Jimmy is squirming. Vanessa is like a woman possessed. Fistful after fistful pounded into his mouth. Bert turns to the camera.<\/p>\n
BERT
\nWell folks, that\u2019s our show for today. Remember, if you\u2019d like to get in on the fun, all you have to do is show up at our studios between 8am and 3pm. We tape seven shows a day. And we have plenty of bankers and politicians yet to go. Have a great day. And remember, even if you don\u2019t have two pennies to rub together you can still Make. \u2018Em. Pay!<\/p>\n
He blows a kiss to the camera. The audience cheers. Vanessa keeps stuffing money into a now motionless Jimmy Cayne.<\/p>\n
FADE OUT<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
INT. GAME SHOW STUDIO Our host, BERT, is standing next to contestant, VANESSA. Beside them is a large wheel with words like \u201cBludgeon\u201d, \u201cKnee-Cap\u201d, \u201cPapercuts & Lemon Juice\u201d and \u201cLight \u2018Em Up!\u201d printed on it. BERT Welcome back to Make \u2018Em Pay, the game show where Average Joe\u2019s get to take out their frustrations on […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[81],"class_list":["post-659","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-game-show"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/659","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=659"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/659\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=659"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=659"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=659"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}