{"id":581,"date":"2009-02-26T08:58:17","date_gmt":"2009-02-26T15:58:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wwwold.sketchwar.org\/?p=581"},"modified":"2009-02-26T08:58:17","modified_gmt":"2009-02-26T15:58:17","slug":"facebook-saves-the-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/?p=581","title":{"rendered":"Facebook Saves The Day"},"content":{"rendered":"

We continue to move across the land, sweeping aside our enemies and bringing new blood into our fold. Here’s a sketch from the very latest Warrior to join our ranks, Jennifer Best<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Join me in welcoming this brave battler into the ring.<\/p>\n

If we don’t scare Jennifer off – I’m looking at you, Brownlee! – she will hopefully become a permanent member of our ranks.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY<\/p>\n

JESSE (28) is at the computer, obviously excited about something he’s viewing on Facebook.<\/p>\n

JESSE<\/p>\n

I don’t friggen’ believe it!<\/p>\n

The others in the room, CARLY (26) and ERIC (26), are sitting on the sofa watching The Simpsons and not paying attention to Jesse’s excited outburst.<\/p>\n

JESSE (CONT’D)<\/p>\n

Unreal! Look at her! She’s gorgeous! If I had that in my bed every night, I’d never work again!<\/p>\n

Still no reaction from the other two.<\/p>\n

JESSE (CONT’D)<\/p>\n

She wants me. Look at that. I knew she’d leave that doofus husband of hers. Her relationship status changed to “single”!<\/p>\n

Carly walks over to the computer to see what the big fuss is about and is not hugely impressed.<\/p>\n

JESSE (CONT’D)<\/p>\n

Hey, Carly. Do you know her?<\/p>\n

CARLY<\/p>\n

I don’t think so, man. Check out my profile and see if we have any friends in common.<\/p>\n

Carly returns to the couch, uninterested by it all.<\/p>\n

JESSE<\/p>\n

Holy shit! You have, like, six friends in common with her!<\/p>\n

(pause)<\/p>\n

She just sent me a message asking “What’s new with you?” – she’s so into me.<\/p>\n

CARLY<\/p>\n

Dude. She’s asking what’s new with you, not if you want to bone her. Give the woman a week to get over her failed marriage, jesus.<\/p>\n

Jesse gets up and goes to the bathroom, still going on and on about the blond whose picture is still open on the computer.<\/p>\n

Carly and Eric look at each other and laugh.<\/p>\n

ERIC<\/p>\n

He’s awful.<\/p>\n

CARLY<\/p>\n

What would he do without Facebook to help him?<\/p>\n

ERIC<\/p>\n

I don’t even wanna know.<\/p>\n

Jesse returns with a bounce in his step and checks his messages again.<\/p>\n

JESSE<\/p>\n

She asked me if I know anyone with a pick up truck to help her move! I have a pick up truck! Well, my uncle does but still. Could be mine for all she knows. I’m so in!<\/p>\n

CARLY<\/p>\n

Facebook saves the day again.<\/p>\n

BLACKOUT:<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We continue to move across the land, sweeping aside our enemies and bringing new blood into our fold. Here’s a sketch from the very latest Warrior to join our ranks, Jennifer Best. Join me in welcoming this brave battler into the ring. If we don’t scare Jennifer off – I’m looking at you, Brownlee! – […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[189],"class_list":["post-581","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-social-networking"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/581","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=581"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/581\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=581"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=581"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=581"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}