{"id":510,"date":"2009-02-23T22:00:53","date_gmt":"2009-02-24T05:00:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wwwold.sketchwar.org\/?p=510"},"modified":"2009-02-23T22:00:53","modified_gmt":"2009-02-24T05:00:53","slug":"ozymandias","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/?p=510","title":{"rendered":"Who Watches the Tweeters?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Very short, but I’m really happy with this one. Thank Twitterer @theisb<\/a> for the final line.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

INT. GIANT CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT<\/p>\n

A wall of TVs two stories high flickers. ADRIAN VEIDT sits impassively taking it all in. In his 40s with the eternal youth and good looks of a Pitt or Redford, wearing the flowing robes and thin gold head band of a douche. Completing the d-bag trifecta, his pet lynx BUBASTIS sits on the floor next to him.<\/p>\n

ADRIAN<\/p>\n

This isn’t working, Bubastis.<\/p>\n

Adrian presses a button on his armrest and the TVs go dark.<\/p>\n

ADRIAN (CONT’D)<\/p>\n

There are too few voices. The media gatekeepers are keeping me from absorbing the zeitgeist.<\/p>\n

Bubastis growl\/moans with a questioning tone.<\/p>\n

ADRIAN (CONT’D)<\/p>\n

Exactly, girl.<\/p>\n

Adrian presses several buttons on his armrest and all the screens come to life with the same image: the Twitter main timeline.<\/p>\n

CUT TO:<\/p>\n

CU on a screen as messages scroll by so fast they blur.<\/p>\n

Freeze on...<\/p>\n

PinkGayGun – Guy next to me on bus smells like cat food and old spice. deoderant FAIL<\/i><\/p>\n

Rapid scroll and freeze on...<\/p>\n

DnQgmd – I made $200K last month! Learn my six secrets of SEO! http:\/\/tinyurl.com\/bnxsff<\/i><\/p>\n

Scroll and freeze...<\/p>\n

squ34 – Curious about the President? http:\/\/nixon.alltop.com<\/i><\/p>\n

Scroll and freeze...<\/p>\n

guykawasaki – Tweeting on my new OzyPhone while I wait for my Boba Tea and Gunga burger.<\/i><\/p>\n

Scroll and freeze...<\/p>\n

improv_dood – @wilw You and @brentspiner shuld cum see our show FRiday in Indio its off teh hook<\/i><\/p>\n

Scroll and freeze...<\/p>\n

jonymous – RT @billshakespeare RT @maryrosh RT @the_real_shaq 2 early, need coffee, any twitterers at 5 n diner wit me say hi<\/i><\/p>\n

CUT TO:<\/p>\n

Adrian rapt.<\/p>\n

Bubastis growl\/moans again.<\/p>\n

ADRIAN (CONT’D)<\/p>\n

The people are dissatisfied with their jobs and bored with life. They’re also not fond of Mondays. We should invest in coffee futures and move up the release of the OzyPhone 2.<\/p>\n

(Beat)<\/p>\n

And tacos. Everyone wants tacos.<\/p>\n

BLACKOUT:<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Very short, but I’m really happy with this one. Thank Twitterer @theisb for the final line.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[189,221],"class_list":["post-510","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-social-networking","tag-twitter"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/510","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=510"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/510\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=510"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=510"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=510"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}