{"id":197,"date":"2009-01-23T18:37:00","date_gmt":"2009-01-24T02:37:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wwwold.sketchwar.org\/?p=197"},"modified":"2009-01-23T18:37:00","modified_gmt":"2009-01-24T02:37:00","slug":"fsw-borders-edition-peters-entry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/?p=197","title":{"rendered":"FSW: Borders Edition (Peter’s entry)"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

\nFriday Sketch War
\nBorders Edition
\n“52.3\u00b0N, 119.9\u00b0E”<\/b><\/p>\n

FADE IN: <\/p>\n

EXT. BORDER CROSSING – DAY<\/p>\n

A little hut occupies a desolate, rocky landscape. Truly the middle of nowhere. <\/p>\n

A worn sign reads “Border Crossing” in Russian, Mandarin, and English.<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

(Russian, subtitled)<\/p>\n

I spy with my little eye —<\/p>\n

INT. BORDER PATROL STATION – CONTINUOUS<\/p>\n

LUBOV (20s) and BOROVICH (30s), military men, play chess in the shabby little hut. The hut contains the bare necessities — an old communications radio, some tin pots and pans, and (oddly) a taser.<\/p>\n

Both men speak subtitled Russian throughout.<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

— something beginning with the letter ‘S’.<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

(immediately)<\/p>\n

Sky. Go.<\/p>\n

Lubov makes a move; Borovich makes him take it back.<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

Not that, Lubov. You do that, I get your queen.<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

Oh! I spy something beginning with ‘R’.<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

(immediately)<\/p>\n

Rocks.<\/p>\n

Lubov picks up the taser.<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

You’re great at ‘I Spy’!<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

That’s not a toy.<\/p>\n

Lubov shoots the taser’s little electrical clips into the huts ceiling. It makes a BZZT sound.<\/p>\n

Lubov notices something out the window.<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

Huh. Now I spy something that starts with ‘M’.<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

‘M’? What, outside?<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

There’s a man out there.<\/p>\n

EXT. BORDER CROSSING – DAY<\/p>\n

Lubov (taser in hand) and Borovich stand outside the little hut.<\/p>\n

XIAO is running full-tilt towards the border station.<\/p>\n

Lubov nervously raises the taser.<\/p>\n

Borovich pushes Lubov’s hand down.<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

Stop! This is a protected border!<\/p>\n

Xiao doesn’t stop; Borovich grabs Xiao.<\/p>\n

Xiao only speaks in subtitled Mandarin.<\/p>\n

XIAO<\/p>\n

I’m being chased by a man with an axe!<\/p>\n

Lubov picks a little book out of his pocket, thumbs through it quickly.<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

What’s he saying?<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

It’s “I am…” — here it is — “I am enjoying my morning run.”<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

He can’t — you can’t run here! It’s the border!<\/p>\n

XIAO<\/p>\n

I don’t speak Russian! There’s a guy with an axe!<\/p>\n

Xiao mimes appropriately.<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

He really wants to cross.<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

Hmm.<\/p>\n

EXT. BORDER CROSSING – DAY<\/p>\n

Now all three men occupy the little hut.<\/p>\n

Borovich places the last chess piece into the starting position.<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

Simple. You win a game of chess, and you can cross.<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

Is that legal?<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

Who cares? I haven’t played decent chess in seven months.<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

Hey!<\/p>\n

XIAO<\/p>\n

What?<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

Your turn.<\/p>\n

Xiao and Borovich start playing, blindingly-fast.<\/p>\n

In the background, Lubov tries to juggle the taser, a pot, and his hat.<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

It’s lucky you showed up. Things were getting a little dull here at crossing #5201\/B.<\/p>\n

XIAO<\/p>\n

What?<\/p>\n

Lubov digs out his little book as Xiao and Borovich continue their game.<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

(Chinese, subtitled)<\/p>\n

We are happy for your dog because we have spoons here.<\/p>\n

XIAO<\/p>\n

I’m so confused.<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

Huh! I lost! Already!<\/p>\n

Borovich shakes Xiao’s hand.<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

Well-done.<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

Wait! He also has to — uh — juggle these things!<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

Lubov, a deal’s a deal.<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

But it would be fun. Right? Sir?<\/p>\n

EXT. BORDER CROSSING – DAY<\/p>\n

Xiao stands in front of the building with the taser, the hat, and the pot in his hands.<\/p>\n

Xiao looks confused.<\/p>\n

Lubov mimes juggling.<\/p>\n

Xiao juggles —<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

He’s really good.<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

He gets to cross into Russia, no question.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, a crazed BRUTE WITH AN AXE appears behind the two men and raises his weapon to strike Lubov.<\/p>\n

Xiao notices this, stops juggling, and shoots the madman (with the taser). The brute drops, unconscious.<\/p>\n

Borovich, of course, only sees Xiao shooting at them — he jumps towards Xiao and punches Xiao out cold.<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

Lubov. You gave him the taser?!<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

Uh, sir?<\/p>\n

They both look at the felled brute.<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

Are you sure the visitor said ‘morning run’?<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

Not 100%.<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

Hmm.<\/p>\n

Borovich points to the brute.<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

Tie him up with something.<\/p>\n

Lubov produces a length of rope from his pocket and starts tying the brute’s hands.<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

What’ll we tell command?<\/p>\n

Borovich ponders a moment, then points to the brute.<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

We’ll say he’s an evil spy —<\/p>\n

Lubov props the axe against the hut.<\/p>\n

Borovich checks Xiao’s pulse, props him up against the hut.<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

— and this guy is a valuable informant — someone we need to detain for further questioning.<\/p>\n

LUBOV<\/p>\n

That’s an excellent plan, sir!<\/p>\n

Borovich opens the hut’s door, drags Xiao in.<\/p>\n

BOROVICH<\/p>\n

It’ll be good to have this guy around.<\/p>\n

Lubov follows Borovich in and closes the door.<\/p>\n

FADE OUT.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Friday Sketch War Borders Edition “52.3\u00b0N, 119.9\u00b0E” FADE IN: EXT. BORDER CROSSING – DAY A little hut occupies a desolate, rocky landscape. Truly the middle of nowhere. A worn sign reads “Border Crossing” in Russian, Mandarin, and English. LUBOV (Russian, subtitled) I spy with my little eye — INT. BORDER PATROL STATION – CONTINUOUS LUBOV […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[35],"class_list":["post-197","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-borders"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/197","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=197"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/197\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=197"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=197"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=197"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}