Here’s my take on the “Conspiracy” edition of Sketchwar. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
FADE IN:\u00a0 <\/p>\n
EXT. OFFICE BUILDING – DAY <\/p>\n
A clean, shiny office building. <\/p>\n
DOCENT (V.O.)<\/p>\n
The next part of the intelligence test covers situations. <\/p>\n
INT. OFFICE – CONTINUOUS <\/p>\n
The DOCENT sits across a desk from HANK (40s), a grizzled type in an ill-fitting suit. <\/p>\n
DOCENT<\/p>\n
So, I’ll explain a situation to you. You explain how you deal with it. <\/p>\n
HANK<\/p>\n
Mmm. <\/p>\n
DOCENT<\/p>\n
Okay, first situation: you’re lost in the woods. How do you find your way back to civilization? <\/p>\n
HANK<\/p>\n
That’s a tricky one. <\/p>\n
DOCENT<\/p>\n
Take as long as you need. <\/p>\n
HANK<\/p>\n
‘cos the forest? The forest wants you to die. <\/p>\n
DOCENT<\/p>\n
Oh-kay... <\/p>\n
HANK<\/p>\n
First thing is, make sure you go in a line. The forest? The forest’ll make you walk in circles, round and round, ’til you die. <\/p>\n
DOCENT<\/p>\n
So how do you do -- <\/p>\n
HANK<\/p>\n
You pick three spots in a line, start walking. Get to the second, pick a fourth. Get to the third, pick a fifth. <\/p>\n
DOCENT<\/p>\n
Interesting. <\/p>\n
HANK<\/p>\n
And if’n it rained, you can check the moss, which’ll grow on the north sides of the trees. <\/p>\n
DOCENT<\/p>\n
Moss? <\/p>\n
HANK<\/p>\n
Or, if you have a clear enough view of the sky, you can guide yourself by the sun. Or if it’s nighttime, sight the north star. <\/p>\n
DOCENT<\/p>\n
Right, and you just keep walking ’til -- <\/p>\n
HANK<\/p>\n
You keep walking. And you use everything you got to keep the madness at bay. <\/p>\n
DOCENT<\/p>\n
Sorry -- did you say -- <\/p>\n
HANK<\/p>\n
Oh, there ain’t nothin’ lonelier than losing your way in the woods. You can scream, but the leaves just eat your voice. You can run, but the woods, they just go on forever. It’s just you, like a tiny little speck, surrounded by hundreds of those centuries life, all of it waiting to snuff you out. <\/p>\n
DOCENT<\/p>\n
I think we’re getting off-topic -- <\/p>\n
HANK<\/p>\n
Sometimes their voices call out to you. Maybe you find yourself on some sheer drop, and the spirit of the woods is there, tempting you to end it all. <\/p>\n
DOCENT<\/p>\n
Okay, now -- <\/p>\n
HANK<\/p>\n
L’appel du vide, the French call it. <\/p>\n
DOCENT<\/p>\n
That’s not really a strategy<\/i>, though -- <\/p>\n
HANK<\/p>\n
So you just keep walking. Keep walking, and hope you chose right. Pray with every step that you find an escape before the madness finds you. <\/p>\n
DOCENT<\/p>\n
Okay. <\/p>\n
HANK<\/p>\n
Mm-hmm. <\/p>\n
DOCENT<\/p>\n
Or also, you could climb a tall tree and see which way the buildings are. <\/p>\n
Beat. <\/p>\n
HANK<\/p>\n
Dammit. <\/p>\n
DOCENT<\/p>\n
Yeah. <\/p>\n
HANK<\/p>\n
This mean I’m not getting the accounting job? <\/p>\n
DOCENT<\/p>\n
Probably not. <\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Peter’s take on the “A walk in the woods” week of Sketchwar: “WWHD?”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[259],"class_list":["post-1755","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-a-walk-in-the-woods"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1755","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1755"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1755\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1757,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1755\/revisions\/1757"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1755"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1755"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1755"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}