Here’s my take on the “Conspiracy” edition of Sketchwar.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
FADE IN:<\/p>\n
INT. OFFICE – DAY <\/p>\n
MR. GELLMAN (40s) sits at his desk in a shabby little industrial office. <\/p>\n
SHAUN (20s) sits across from him. <\/p>\n
Gellman happily shuffles through a few papers. <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
And there’s that sorted, and... congratulations! Shaun, you are our newest mechanic specialist! <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
Awesome! <\/p>\n
A firm handshake. <\/p>\n
Gellman digs up one last form. <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
Oh, right, there’s one last thing. Nothing, really -- <\/p>\n
He hands the form to Shaun. <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
This contract is under an NDA? <\/p>\n
Shaun shrugs, gets out his pen. <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
Bit more than that. You can’t even acknowledge that this place exists. <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
What? <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
Sorry to say, this whole factory is a bit of a conspiracy. Our own government doesn’t know about it. One of those ‘black projects’. <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
Well... do I pretend I’m in some sort of front organization, or -- <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
Oh, no, no, that never works. If anyone asks, don’t say anything about this agency; just claim to work in ‘software development’. <\/p>\n
Beat. <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
Software development? <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
Mm-hmm! <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
That works? <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
Indeed! Don’t worry, it shuts down conversations dead. <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
Huh. So, are all ‘software developers’ actually... <\/p>\n
He gestures at the office around him. <\/p>\n
Gellman nods. <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
Programming work was all farmed out to India ages ago. So now, you see lots of people pulling down high salaries for work they never actually talk about? That’s mostly black-box operations such as, well, this one. <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
But... but there are whole magazines and websites and conferences devoted to -- <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
Right, it’s a sizeable job, maintaining all that -- but it’s a collective effort from secret crimefighting organizations, garden-variety mad scientists, superhero support infrastructures. <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
This -- okay, this has gotta be some kinda joke -- <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
You really think php is real? Or that any sane person would use it if it were? <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
Oh, I... I don’t know what php is. Any time somebody mentions something like that, my mind glazes over. <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
That’s precisely how it’s designed! <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
No kidding! <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
Every six months to a year, they come up with a new set of buzzwords, just in case any outsiders get too curious. A good many English majors work on that. <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
I always thought there were way too many English majors for the existing job market. <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
Quite. And that way, the rest of us can keep fighting aliens, performing bizarre experiments in transhumanism, dealing with singularity-level AIs -- you name in -- without incontroverting the conventional world. <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
Huh. <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
So. The NDA? <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
I don’t know if I feel comfortable with this sort of dishonesty. (thinks a moment) Oh, but this is one of those things where I already know too much, isn’t it? <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
Rather. <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
I don’t really have a choice? <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
We do employ a team of freelance assassins to eliminate leaks. Nice people, really, but -- <\/p>\n
Shaun sighs. <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
And... look, I’m not supposed to say this, but I’ll just ‘throw caution to the wind’, as it were. It might be that we’re making an army of killer robots capable of taking over the world. Just... throwing that out there. <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
Really? <\/p>\n
Gellman touches a finger to his nose. <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
Wow. <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
Does that help? <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
Absolutely! That’s awesome! <\/p>\n
Shaun happily signs the last form. <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
I know, right? <\/p>\n
SHAUN<\/p>\n
Why didn’t you just lead off with that? <\/p>\n
GELLMAN<\/p>\n
Good point, Shaun. Good point. <\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Peter’s take on the “Conspiracy” edition of Sketchwar.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[258],"class_list":["post-1749","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-conspiracy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1749","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1749"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1749\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1753,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1749\/revisions\/1753"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1749"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1749"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1749"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}