(The waiting room at a blood drive. NURSE BLAKE (Alec Baldwin) and NURSE WILLIAMSON (Kevin Spacey) stand in their scrubs before LEVENE (Jack Lemmon), MOSS (Ed Harris), and AARONOW (Alan Arkin), who are sitting at tables and filling out forms to give blood.)<\/i><\/p>\n
BLAKE
Are they all here?<\/p>\n
WILLIAMSON
All but one.<\/p>\n
BLAKE
Well, I\u2019m going anyway.
(to the group)<\/i>
Let\u2019s talk about something important!
(BLAKE sees LEVENE picking up a Nutter Butter from a plate on the counter)<\/i>
Put that cookie down! Cookies are for donors only.
(LEVENE laughs incredulously. BLAKE approaches him.)<\/i>
You think I\u2019m fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I\u2019m here from Red Cross HQ. I\u2019m here from Mitch and Murray. And I\u2019m here on a mission of mercy. Your name\u2019s Levene?<\/p>\n
LEVENE
Yeah.<\/p>\n
BLAKE
You call yourself a blood donor, you son of a bitch?<\/p>\n
MOSS (standing)<\/i>
I don\u2019t gotta listen to this shit.<\/p>\n
BLAKE
You certainly don’t pal. \u2019Cause as you all know, first prize is you can donate a pint of whole blood. Anybody wanna hear second prize? Second prize is you donate platelets. Third prize is you\u2019re anemic. You get the picture? You can\u2019t donate blood, you can\u2019t donate shit, you are shit, hit the bricks pal and beat it \u2019cause you are going out!<\/p>\n
MOSS (sits)<\/i>
What\u2019s your name?<\/p>\n
BLAKE
Make Your Next Meal A Hearty One, that\u2019s my name. You know why, Mister? \u2019Cause you had a piece of toast and a cup of coffee for breakfast this morning, I ate a twelve-dollar omelet. That\u2019s my name!
(to LEVENE)<\/i>
And your name is \u201cYou\u2019ve Spent 5 Cumulative Years In Europe Since 1980.\u201d Then have a fucking Oreo and go home.
(to everyone)<\/i>
Because only one thing counts in this life! Get them to draw from the vein which is dotted! You hear me, you fucking fairies?
(BLAKE flips over a blackboard that features two sets of letters. He points to \u201cB-S-E.\u201d) <\/i>
\u201cB-S-E.\u201d B: Bovine. S: Spongiform. E: Encephalopathy. Have you got it, you fucks? If so, get your pulpy, Creutzfeldt-Jakob riddled brainpan the fuck out of my waiting room.
(He points to \u201cA-B-AB-O.\u201d)<\/i>
\u201cA-B-AB-O.\u201d \u201cA\u201d can receive \u201cA\u201d and \u201cO.\u201d \u201cB\u201d can receive \u201cB\u201d and \u201cO,\u201d \u2019cause it\u2019s fuck or walk. \u201cAB\u201d can receive \u201cA,\u201d \u201cB,\u201d \u201cAB,\u201d and \u201cO\u201d — the universal recipient, for Christ. \u201cO\u201d is the universal donor.
(walks to MOSS)<\/i>
Nice guy? I don\u2019t give a shit. Allergic to iodine? Fuck you — go home and vomit some shellfish.
(to AARONOW)<\/i>
You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can\u2019t take this — how can you take the abuse when you sit in that chair with a fucking needle sticking into your forearm? You don\u2019t like it — leave. You know what it takes to donate blood?
(BLAKE goes to his briefcase and removes a vial of copper sulfate solution with a drop of blood in it. He dangles it in front of his crotch.)<\/i>
It takes a hemoglobin concentration of over 12.5 grams per deciliter to donate blood.
(throws the vial back in the briefcase, pulls out a stack of cards)<\/i>
These are the \u201cBe Nice To Me\u201d stickers. And to you, they\u2019re gold. And you don\u2019t get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away.
(he hands the stack to WILLIAMSON)<\/i>
They\u2019re for donors. I\u2019d wish you good luck but you wouldn\u2019t know what to do with it if you got it.<\/p>\n
(exit BLAKE and WILLIAMSON)<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(The waiting room at a blood drive. NURSE BLAKE (Alec Baldwin) and NURSE WILLIAMSON (Kevin Spacey) stand in their scrubs before LEVENE (Jack Lemmon), MOSS (Ed Harris), and AARONOW (Alan Arkin), who are sitting at tables and filling out forms to give blood.) BLAKEAre they all here? WILLIAMSONAll but one. BLAKEWell, I\u2019m going anyway.(to the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[54],"class_list":["post-17","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-dave-stinton"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=17"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=17"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=17"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=17"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}