Here’s my take on the “New Music” edition of Sketchwar.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
FADE IN:\u00a0 <\/p>\n
EXT. HOTEL – DAY<\/p>\n
Sign out front reads, “RadioChannel Demographic Testing”.<\/p>\n
CHAD (V.O.)<\/p>\n
And we’ll program new music across the country based on what test groups like you ladies enjoy.<\/p>\n
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY<\/p>\n
CHAD (20s, artsy but rich) lectures a half-dozen middle-aged HOUSEWIVES, including GLADYS.<\/p>\n
The housewives hold small consoles with knobs.<\/p>\n
Chad stands by a laptop connected to a large set of speakers.<\/p>\n
CHAD<\/p>\n
If you like a song, turn the knob to the right. If you don’t, turn it to the left.<\/p>\n
GLADYS<\/p>\n
Can we hear some music now?<\/p>\n
CHAD<\/p>\n
Eager! I like that!<\/p>\n
He types on the laptop, and a seven-second of music plays -- standard innocuous top-forty singer-songwriter fare.<\/p>\n
SINGER<\/p>\n
And I’m missing you so much!<\/p>\n
The music cuts out. Looks of confusion.<\/p>\n
GLADYS<\/p>\n
Is that it?<\/p>\n
CHAD<\/p>\n
RadioChannel cares about instant response, Gladys. Now, just turn the knobs, ladies.<\/p>\n
They do so.<\/p>\n
GLADYS<\/p>\n
But -- I mean, lyrically I can’t really tell where she’s going with --<\/p>\n
CHAD<\/p>\n
It doesn’t matter.<\/p>\n
GLADYS<\/p>\n
I mean, it could be she misses her dog, or her husband, or maybe some elf on a quest to --<\/p>\n
CHAD<\/p>\n
It’s not an elf. Just rate the song, as you heard it.<\/p>\n
More knob-twiddling.<\/p>\n
GLADYS<\/p>\n
And harmonically, is it really going to keep cycling through that I:IV:V major progression through the whole -- <\/p>\n
CHAD<\/p>\n
Gladys, if you don’t like the song, then --<\/p>\n
GLADYS<\/p>\n
And will it always be 4:4? I mean, maybe there’s a bridge in some complex meter, or --<\/p>\n
CHAD<\/p>\n
I don’t even think you’re using real words, Gladys.<\/p>\n
HOUSEWIFE #1<\/p>\n
Gladys has a point. There might be more to the song than what we just heard --<\/p>\n
CHAD<\/p>\n
That might be, but I just have a seven-second clip.<\/p>\n
HOUSEWIFE #2<\/p>\n
Could we hear it again, at least?<\/p>\n
ALL HOUSEWIVES<\/p>\n
Yes! Let’s listen again! <\/p>\n
(etc.)<\/p>\n
CHAD<\/p>\n
Fine!<\/p>\n
He types on the laptop again.<\/p>\n
SINGER<\/p>\n
And I’m missing you so much!<\/p>\n
GLADYS<\/p>\n
The orchestration really needs an old-school Moog.<\/p>\n
Chad walks over to Gladys and starts leading her out of the room.<\/p>\n
GLADYS<\/p>\n
What? It would add texture!<\/p>\n
CHAD<\/p>\n
Gladys, I don’t think you’re a good match for the data-gathering we want.<\/p>\n
GLADYS<\/p>\n
But I am!<\/p>\n
CHAD<\/p>\n
We’ll pay you what we said we would, and you can just go home right now, and --<\/p>\n
GLADYS<\/p>\n
I want to contribute!<\/p>\n
CHAD<\/p>\n
We’ll pay you double.<\/p>\n
GLADYS<\/p>\n
Let me stay!<\/p>\n
Two beefy SECURITY GUYS show up.<\/p>\n
SECURITY GUY #1<\/p>\n
Is there a problem?<\/p>\n
INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE – DAY<\/p>\n
Establishing shot of a nice little house in the suburbs.<\/p>\n
GLADYS (O.S.)<\/p>\n
I’m sorry guys.<\/p>\n
INT. KITCHEN – DAY<\/p>\n
Gladys stands in a fairly nice kitchen.<\/p>\n
She speaks to the front cover of a CD of Moving Pictures by Rush.<\/p>\n
GLADYS<\/p>\n
I tried fighting the good fight for progressive rock.<\/p>\n
She puts in the CD, hits play, and dims the lights.<\/p>\n
“Tom Sawyer” starts playing as she mixes herself a drink.<\/p>\n
Her DAUGHTER walks up to the kitchen door, sees her mother rocking out to the tune, rolls her eyes, and exits.<\/p>\n
FADE TO BLACK.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Peter’s take on the “New Music” edition of Sketchwar: “Fighting the Good Fight”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1692","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1692","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1692"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1692\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1694,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1692\/revisions\/1694"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1692"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1692"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1692"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}