Here’s my take on the “Unemployment” edition of Sketchwar…<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
FADE IN:\u00a0 <\/p>\n
EXT. CITY STREET – DAY<\/p>\n
Slo-mo, grainy, b\/w footage of URBAN PEDESTRIANS.<\/p>\n
NARRATOR<\/p>\n
The economy is tougher than ever. To get a job, you need to get ahead of the competition. Plus, you need a miracle. Because the jobs aren’t there. So why not try a different approach?<\/p>\n
EXT. THOMPSON UNVOCATIONAL COLLEGE – DAY<\/p>\n
A slummy college campus, labeled “Thompson Unvocational College”.<\/p>\n
NARRATOR<\/p>\n
With Thompson Unvocational College?<\/p>\n
INT. CLASSROOM – DAY<\/p>\n
A TEACHER lectures in front of a large display.<\/p>\n
The display reads, “CHEAP FOODS”, and lists “Rice” (“yes!”), “Beans” (“yes!”), and “Ramen” (“No!”).<\/p>\n
NARRATOR<\/p>\n
At Thompson Unvocational College, we teach you the skills you’ll need for a life spent unemployed. Because face it, that’s what today’s college grads are getting.<\/p>\n
INT. DEPARTMENT STORE – DAY<\/p>\n
A bored GREETER greets a series of CUSTOMERS.<\/p>\n
NARRATOR<\/p>\n
Why waste time picking up skills you’ll never use in those few part-time gigs you might luck into?<\/p>\n
INT. CLASSROOM – DAY<\/p>\n
STUDENTS socialize in a classroom, while TEACHERS’ ASSISTANTS carry clipboards and monitor them.<\/p>\n
NARRATOR<\/p>\n
When you could learn the networking skills you’ll need to acquire free food and shelter?<\/p>\n
INT. OFFICE – DAY<\/p>\n
A DOCTOR speaks one-on-one with a STUDENT.<\/p>\n
NARRATOR<\/p>\n
Basic medical self-diagnosis, since nobody will offer you medical insurance?<\/p>\n
INT. CLASSROOM – DAY<\/p>\n
A TEACHER lectures in front of a blackboard that reads, “Conflict Mediation -- Basic Principles”.<\/p>\n
NARRATOR<\/p>\n
Or the extensive conflict-resolution techniques you’ll need to survive moving back in with your parents?<\/p>\n
CGI FOOTAGE<\/p>\n
Clunky, “Money for Nothing”-like CGI shows a STUDENT sitting in a scummy apartment.<\/p>\n
NARRATOR<\/p>\n
And our state-of-the-art technology will prepare you --<\/p>\n
INT. VIRTUAL-REALITY CHAMBER – DAY<\/p>\n
A STUDENT sits in a plain chair in the exact same pose.<\/p>\n
He wears a clunky pair of VR goggles, hooked up to a large machine labeled “The Sitting Around the House All Day Simulator 3000X”.<\/p>\n
NARRATOR<\/p>\n
-- for all the scenarios that you’ll face as a member of the fastest-growing occupation in America: unemployment!<\/p>\n
EXT. PARK – DAY<\/p>\n
A STUDENT reads a copy of Hamlet in an idyllic park.<\/p>\n
NARRATOR<\/p>\n
And of course, we offer a full program in the liberal arts, so that you can stay amused for a lifetime with nothing more than a library card and a bus pass!<\/p>\n
EXT. THOMPSON UNVOCATIONAL COLLEGE – DAY<\/p>\n
The same slummy college campus.<\/p>\n
This time, the superimposed text reads:<\/p>\n
NARRATOR<\/p>\n
Thompson Unvocational College: preparing you for tomorrow’s unemployment... today!<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Peter’s take on the “Unemployment” edition of Sketchwar: “Thompson Unvocational College”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1671","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1671","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1671"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1671\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1674,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1671\/revisions\/1674"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1671"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1671"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1671"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}