{"id":166,"date":"2008-12-12T15:55:00","date_gmt":"2008-12-12T23:55:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wwwold.sketchwar.org\/?p=166"},"modified":"2008-12-12T15:55:00","modified_gmt":"2008-12-12T23:55:00","slug":"kens-entry-first-date-honesty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/?p=166","title":{"rendered":"Ken’s Entry: First Date – Honesty"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/p>\n

INT RESTAURANT – NIGHT<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK a man in his early 30\u2019s, sits alone at table wearing a business suit with a cocktail in front of him. He checks his breath, checks his appearance in the back of a spoon of any other convenient shiny object, and all manner of things someone waiting to make a good impression would do.<\/p>\n

JILL, also in her early 30\u2019s wearing a nice blouse and skirt, walks in and likewise checks her appearance. She looks around, sees JACK and walks over to him.<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

Jack?<\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

Jill?<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I thought that was…probably you.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Yeah, I don\u2019t look a thing like my Match.com photo. I Photoshopped the hell out of it.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

No worries! I\u2019m 12 years older and 43 pounds heavier than mine!<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Both of them chuckle.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

Have a seat. I\u2019d stand up to get your chair, but the table is hiding the beer gut I said was a six-pack.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL sits down.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

So, will you be eating anything other than a salad tonight?<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

Not in front of you. I\u2019m binge-ing later at home. <\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I was afraid you\u2019d order something expensive, which I\u2019d have to pay for in hopes I\u2019d be repaid with sex. But I\u2019d just end up resenting you after I ejaculate.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

You\u2019re not really a CEO rock guitarist stockbroker who writes poetry while rescuing puppies and infants are you?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Floor sales at Cell Phone Circus.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not really an independently wealthy NFL cheerleader-slash-microbrewery heiress with porn star training. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I\u2019m male – I had to take the risk just in case. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t really skydive.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t really like art museums.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I was never in a sorority.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I haven\u2019t been in one since the restraining order.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I only watch Julia Roberts movies.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I only watch Adam Sandler movies.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t have an apartment downtown.<\/span><\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t have a penthouse.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

I still live with my parents.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I have to break back into the ward before the 9:30 bed-check.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not really a NASCAR fan.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I am.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I only wear granny-panties.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I only wear Depends.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

My boobs aren\u2019t real.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Neither is my hair.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL <\/p>\n

(grabbing her breasts)<\/p>\n

This is just padding. My real boobs are really tiny.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK says nothing , but glances at his crotch subtly.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

But my butt is totally real.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So is my halitosis.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I\u2019m here seeking self-esteem through the approval of others.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I\u2019m hoping to get laid this year. I\u2019ve only had one sexual partner.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve only had one partner…while sober.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK motions to an invisible waiter<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

(to waiter)<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Three Jack and cokes for the lady.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I get clingy and desperate in relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

We so much in common.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

This is going so much better than most of my dates.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

This honesty is turning me on.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

It\u2019s making me hot too.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JACK<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Does that mean I\u2019m going to get lucky?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

JILL<\/p>\n

Buy me the lobster and we\u2019ll talk. <\/p>\n

BLACK OUT<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

INT RESTAURANT – NIGHT JACK a man in his early 30\u2019s, sits alone at table wearing a business suit with a cocktail in front of him. He checks his breath, checks his appearance in the back of a spoon of any other convenient shiny object, and all manner of things someone waiting to make a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[68,95,116],"class_list":["post-166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-first-date","tag-honesty","tag-ken"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=166"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}