Here’s my take on the “Sleep Deprivation” edition of Sketchwar.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
FADE IN:\u00a0 <\/p>\n
INT. CHILD’S BEDROOM – NIGHT<\/p>\n
SAM (8) lies in bed in a darkened bedroom, across from an ominous-looking closet door.<\/p>\n
He sits upright.<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
Mom!<\/p>\n
Mom enters.<\/p>\n
MOM<\/p>\n
What is it, Sam?<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
I’m scared!<\/p>\n
MOM<\/p>\n
Scared of what?<\/p>\n
He points at the closet door.<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
Monsters.<\/p>\n
MOM<\/p>\n
Monsters?<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
(whispered)<\/p>\n
Grammar Nazis!<\/p>\n
MOM<\/p>\n
Sam, there’s no such thing --<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
The teacher told us about them at school!<\/p>\n
MOM<\/p>\n
They’re not real --<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
They’re really scary!<\/p>\n
MOM<\/p>\n
Are we really going over this again? It’s just a figure of speech, Sam. There’s no such thing as Grammar Nazis, just like there was no such thing as Fashion Police last week.<\/p>\n
Sam sniffles.<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
I’m sorry.<\/p>\n
MOM<\/p>\n
Aw. Look, if they were real, they wouldn’t mess around with us. Because there’s no way they’re tougher than me. Okay?<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
Okay.<\/p>\n
MOM<\/p>\n
You’re alright?<\/p>\n
Sam nods.<\/p>\n
She gives him a kiss and exits.<\/p>\n
Beat.<\/p>\n
Then, voices from the closet.<\/p>\n
NAZI #1 (O.S.)<\/p>\n
Zat should hev been ‘tougher zen I am.’<\/p>\n
NAZI #2 (O.S.)<\/p>\n
Ja. Definite predicate nominative.<\/p>\n
NAZI #1 (O.S.)<\/p>\n
Still, perhaps ve shouldn’t take her aveh to the re-education camp.<\/p>\n
NAZI #2 (O.S.)<\/p>\n
Nein! Zis it vat ve do to whomever transgresses against ze rules of grammar!<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
I... I think you mean ‘whoever’.<\/p>\n
NAZI #2 (O.S.)<\/p>\n
Insolent child! It is ze object of a preposition.<\/p>\n
Sound of a SMACK!<\/p>\n
NAZI #2 (O.S.)<\/p>\n
Ach, meine Nase!<\/p>\n
NAZI #1 (O.S.)<\/p>\n
Dummkopf! Ze entire clause is ze object of ze preposition! Ze preposition acts as a subject, zus it is nominative! <\/p>\n
NAZI #2 (O.S.)<\/p>\n
Mein Gott....<\/p>\n
NAZI #1 (O.S.)<\/p>\n
You have humiliated ze Reich! Let us depart to zome ozzer suburban home, and try to live down ze shame!<\/p>\n
NAZI #2 (O.S.)<\/p>\n
Raus! Raus!<\/p>\n
Sound of MARCHING FEET, quickly disappearing into the distance.<\/p>\n
Beat.<\/p>\n
Sam sighs with relief.<\/p>\n
Then, two swishy voices from the closet:<\/p>\n
POLICE #1 (O.S.)<\/p>\n
Whew. Glad they’re skee-daddling!<\/p>\n
POLICE #2 (O.S.)<\/p>\n
I’ll say! Those epaulets alone were a clear fashion violation!<\/p>\n
POLICE #1 (O.S.)<\/p>\n
Pull over, Helmut, you’re going to fashion jail!<\/p>\n
POLICE #2 (O.S.)<\/p>\n
(imitating siren)<\/p>\n
Ba-weoo! Ba-weoo!<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
MOM!<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Peter’s take on the “Sleep Deprivation” edition of Sketchwar: “Boogeymen”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[250],"class_list":["post-1653","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-sleep-deprivation"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1653","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1653"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1653\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1656,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1653\/revisions\/1656"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1653"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1653"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1653"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}