{"id":164,"date":"2008-12-12T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2008-12-12T08:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wwwold.sketchwar.org\/?p=164"},"modified":"2008-12-12T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2008-12-12T08:00:00","slug":"the-first-date","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/?p=164","title":{"rendered":"The First Date"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

EXT. GARDEN – DAY<\/p>\n

Lush, jungle-like. Three tree stumps conveniently positioned as table and chairs. ADAM, grinning like a rube, and LILITH sit naked across from each other, hair and branches strategically concealing naughty bits. The brunette smolders and looks slinky even while seated.<\/p>\n

ADAM<\/p>\n

…and I call those goats.<\/p>\n

LILITH<\/p>\n

They stink.<\/p>\n

ADAM<\/p>\n

Yeah, I hadn’t noticed. The bigger ones, with the long hair, I call those yaks. Except those other ones over there? Those are gnus.<\/p>\n

Lilith glances where Adam points, then looks around anxiously.<\/p>\n

LILITH<\/p>\n

Where the hell’s the waiter?<\/p>\n

ADAM<\/p>\n

Waiter?<\/p>\n

LILITH<\/p>\n

Or waitress, whatever. To take our order? I’d kill for a drink.<\/p>\n

ADAM<\/p>\n

Oh, let me get you some pomegranate juice. I named that, too. And the strawberry, and the boysenberry…<\/p>\n

Adam’s voice trails off as he exits, still strategically obscured. Lilith sighs. As Adam comes back in view we hear him continue…<\/p>\n

ADAM (CONT’D)<\/p>\n

…and the huckleberry, and the chokeberry, and the–<\/p>\n

LILITH<\/p>\n

–You named all the berries, too. That’s great. So Adam, what else do you do? Besides naming.<\/p>\n

Adam hands Lilith a hollowed gourd and she drains it. She curls her lip and stares at the cup.<\/p>\n

ADAM<\/p>\n

I tend the fields and I tend the flocks and I–<\/p>\n

LILITH<\/p>\n

–Yeah. Hey sweetie? You got anything back there with a bit more kick?<\/p>\n

ADAM<\/p>\n

Kick?<\/p>\n

LILITH<\/p>\n

You know, something fermented?<\/p>\n

ADAM<\/p>\n

Nope. Just juice. You want some lingonberry juice?<\/p>\n

LILITH<\/p>\n

(sighing)<\/p>\n

No, I’m fine. Maybe something to eat?<\/p>\n

ADAM<\/p>\n

We’ve got barley porridge. I can top it with blueberries if you like. Or blackberries–<\/p>\n

A lamb, barely old enough to walk, stumbles up to the table.<\/p>\n

LILITH<\/p>\n

–What’s that?<\/p>\n

ADAM<\/p>\n

That’s a lamb. It’s a baby sheep. I also named sheep.<\/p>\n

LILITH<\/p>\n

That sounds good.<\/p>\n

ADAM<\/p>\n

The name pleases you?<\/p>\n

LILITH<\/p>\n

No, a lamb chop sounds good. Rare.<\/p>\n

ADAM<\/p>\n

You want me to make a sacrifice for God?<\/p>\n

LILITH<\/p>\n

No, I want you to make mint jelly for me.<\/p>\n

ADAM<\/p>\n

I don’t know how I feel–<\/p>\n

LILITH<\/p>\n

–Look, Adam. You’re a nice guy. Really. But you’re obviously busy with the…naming and the tending. I’m just not sure I feel a real connection.<\/p>\n

ADAM<\/p>\n

What about my rib?<\/p>\n

LILITH<\/p>\n

What about it?<\/p>\n

ADAM<\/p>\n

“And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.” That’s me. I’m the man. You’re bone of my bones and everything.<\/p>\n

LILITH<\/p>\n

(sotto voce)<\/p>\n

That’s the only bone around here from what I can see.<\/p>\n

ADAM<\/p>\n

What?<\/p>\n

LILITH<\/p>\n

Look, I appreciate all that, but it’s not enough. There’s just no spark. I’d love it if we could be friends, though.<\/p>\n

Adam looks heavenward and shrugs. Lightning flashes, thunder claps, and when he looks back down he’s sitting across from EVE: blond, fair, and grinning like her mate.<\/p>\n

EVE<\/p>\n

(vapidly)<\/p>\n

What do you call that animal, Adam?<\/p>\n

BLACKOUT:<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

EXT. GARDEN – DAY Lush, jungle-like. Three tree stumps conveniently positioned as table and chairs. ADAM, grinning like a rube, and LILITH sit naked across from each other, hair and branches strategically concealing naughty bits. The brunette smolders and looks slinky even while seated. ADAM …and I call those goats. LILITH They stink. ADAM Yeah, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[68],"class_list":["post-164","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-first-date"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/164","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=164"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/164\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=164"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=164"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=164"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}