Here’s my take on the “Kung Fu” edition of Sketchwar.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
FADE IN:\u00a0 <\/p>\n
INT. OFFICE – DAY<\/p>\n
MR. TURPLEE (middle-aged, office casual) sits at a desk across from JOHN (20s, cheap business suit).<\/p>\n
Mr. Turplee reads over a r\u00e9sum\u00e9.<\/p>\n
John waits.<\/p>\n
MR. TURPLEE<\/p>\n
Your 3.8 GPA was across the board?<\/p>\n
JOHN<\/p>\n
Just in my major.<\/p>\n
Mr. Turplee yawns, pulls another printout off the desk.<\/p>\n
MR. TURPLEE<\/p>\n
Adams Mutual was mostly turnkey systems?<\/p>\n
JOHN<\/p>\n
Legacy databases. I did contract maintenance work.<\/p>\n
More reading.<\/p>\n
MR. TURPLEE<\/p>\n
Huh. “Hobbies include martial arts.”<\/p>\n
JOHN<\/p>\n
Yes.<\/p>\n
MR. TURPLEE<\/p>\n
So, you can, like, kick through a window?<\/p>\n
JOHN<\/p>\n
Something like that.<\/p>\n
More reading.<\/p>\n
MR. TURPLEE<\/p>\n
Ever killed a man?<\/p>\n
John laughs.<\/p>\n
Mr. Turplee doesn’t.<\/p>\n
JOHN<\/p>\n
No.<\/p>\n
MR. TURPLEE<\/p>\n
Mmm.<\/p>\n
More reading.<\/p>\n
JOHN<\/p>\n
Uh, the, legacy systems at Adams had the same basic database structure as --<\/p>\n
MR. TURPLEE<\/p>\n
Okay. What about when you’re in mid-jump, and time seems to slow down, and --<\/p>\n
JOHN<\/p>\n
I’m pretty sure that’s done with wires.<\/p>\n
MR. TURPLEE<\/p>\n
Oh.<\/p>\n
Reading.<\/p>\n
MR. TURPLEE<\/p>\n
What about, there’s always some old man who sits off to the side and just watches the big fight. What’s with<\/i> him?<\/p>\n
JOHN<\/p>\n
It’s a film convention.<\/p>\n
Reading.<\/p>\n
JOHN<\/p>\n
Does the job actually involve<\/i> combat, or...?<\/p>\n
Mr. Turplee just stares at him.<\/p>\n
John forces a nervous chuckle.<\/p>\n
Mr. Turplee continues staring at him.<\/p>\n
JOHN<\/p>\n
Sorry.<\/p>\n
MR. TURPLEE<\/p>\n
What if you had to fight, say, two guys.<\/p>\n
JOHN<\/p>\n
I don’t know.<\/p>\n
MR. TURPLEE<\/p>\n
Say each one had a poison-tipped jackknife in each hand.<\/p>\n
JOHN<\/p>\n
I don’t know.<\/p>\n
MR. TURPLEE<\/p>\n
And they’re both... part tiger.<\/p>\n
JOHN<\/p>\n
I don’t know.<\/p>\n
MR. TURPLEE<\/p>\n
Could you break this desk?<\/p>\n
JOHN<\/p>\n
What?<\/p>\n
MR. TURPLEE<\/p>\n
Just slam your fist down and -- HYAAH! BOOM!<\/p>\n
JOHN<\/p>\n
No, I --<\/p>\n
MR. TURPLEE<\/p>\n
C’mon, BREAK THE DESK!<\/p>\n
JOHN<\/p>\n
Break it?<\/p>\n
MR. TURPLEE<\/p>\n
DO IT!<\/p>\n
JOHN<\/p>\n
I’m here for a database job, I --<\/p>\n
Mr. Turplee slaps John lightly across the face.<\/p>\n
John is stunned.<\/p>\n
Mr. Turplee does it again, and continues doing it.<\/p>\n
MR. TURPLEE<\/p>\n
Not man enough to break the desk, huh mister martial-arts guy? Huh?<\/p>\n
John backs out of range.<\/p>\n
JOHN<\/p>\n
That’s it! Look, I don’t know what is with you, or what your obsession with martial arts is, or... what, exactly, but this is so clearly unprofessional that I definitely don’t even want to work here. Good-bye.<\/p>\n
He leaves, slamming the door behind him.<\/p>\n
Mr. Turplee sighs.<\/p>\n
CLOSE ON Mr. Turplee as he neatens some of the papers on his desk.<\/p>\n
Then PAN to reveal that THREE NINJAS have appeared behind Mr. Turplee. <\/p>\n
(Clearly, none of them are John.)<\/p>\n
Mr. Turplee freezes. He doesn’t see the ninjas, but he’s aware that something’s up.<\/p>\n
Just as he starts to turn around --<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Peter’s take on the “Kung Fu” edition of Sketchwar: “Reasonable Curiosity”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[244],"class_list":["post-1618","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-kung-fu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1618","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1618"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1618\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1620,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1618\/revisions\/1620"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1618"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1618"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1618"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}