Here’s my take on the “LOST” edition of Sketchwar.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
FADE IN:\u00a0 <\/p>\n
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT<\/p>\n
SANDRA and TIFFANY watch TV.<\/p>\n
(Tiffany rather more intensely than Sandra.)<\/p>\n
TV SINGERS (O.S.)<\/p>\n
It’s wacky and Canadian! \/ It’s That Nutty Moose!<\/p>\n
(After this TV title theme, nothing else from the television is clearly audible.)<\/p>\n
TIFFANY<\/p>\n
Look at that!<\/p>\n
SANDRA<\/p>\n
What?<\/p>\n
TIFFANY<\/p>\n
There’s a brown Nissan Sentra outside the bar.<\/p>\n
SANDRA<\/p>\n
Um. Yeah?<\/p>\n
TIFFANY<\/p>\n
It’s the exact same one that was way in the background in that curling scene last week.<\/p>\n
SANDRA<\/p>\n
Oh. Um, great.<\/p>\n
TIFFANY<\/p>\n
I’ll bet this means the Tim Hortons guy has a stalker.<\/p>\n
ERIC enters.<\/p>\n
TIFFANY<\/p>\n
You’re late!<\/p>\n
ERIC<\/p>\n
What did I miss?<\/p>\n
SANDRA<\/p>\n
Eric. You hate That Nutty Moose.<\/p>\n
ERIC<\/p>\n
No way!<\/p>\n
SANDRA<\/p>\n
You called it “dull, derivative pabulum.”<\/p>\n
ERIC<\/p>\n
Only because I didn’t properly comprehend it, though. See, I’ve got a theory.<\/p>\n
TIFFANY<\/p>\n
Ooh!<\/p>\n
SANDRA<\/p>\n
What?<\/p>\n
ERIC<\/p>\n
The moose? is god.<\/p>\n
TIFFANY<\/p>\n
Wow!<\/p>\n
ERIC<\/p>\n
Just ponder it -- everyone whom the moose gazes directly at, is subsequently blessed in some way.<\/p>\n
SANDRA<\/p>\n
(deadpan)<\/p>\n
You really think That Nutty Moose has supernatural elements?<\/p>\n
ERIC<\/p>\n
Okay, perhaps my theory is a bit ‘out there’ --<\/p>\n
ALICIA makes a dramatic entrance.<\/p>\n
ALICIA<\/p>\n
Or PERHAPS it’s not OUT THERE ENOUGH!<\/p>\n
ERIC<\/p>\n
Oh, my. You look as though you have something to share with the class?<\/p>\n
ALICIA<\/p>\n
Get this: Jim the Mountie is actually dead!<\/p>\n
SANDRA<\/p>\n
But he just walked into the bar!<\/p>\n
ALICIA<\/p>\n
Exactly. What’s you’re seeing? That’s his ghost.<\/p>\n
The argument gradually becomes heated.<\/p>\n
ERIC<\/p>\n
But we’ve never seen Mountie Jim die!<\/p>\n
ALICIA<\/p>\n
It could have happened off-camera!<\/p>\n
ERIC<\/p>\n
Technically, Mountie Jim could just be a figment of Doris’s imagination at this point.<\/p>\n
TIFFANY<\/p>\n
No, if Mountie Jim died, somebody would have said something about it!<\/p>\n
ALICIA<\/p>\n
PLEASE! We don’t even know if these episodes are in chronological ORDER!<\/p>\n
SANDRA<\/p>\n
What is wrong with you people? There are no hidden meanings in That Nutty Moose. It’s a light dramedy about a small town in <\/p>\n
Saskatchewan! <\/p>\n
ALICIA<\/p>\n
And one that you, apparently, can’t appreciate properly!<\/p>\n
TIFFANY<\/p>\n
Yeah!<\/p>\n
SANDRA<\/p>\n
That’s it! All of you: out! Just leave me to watch my show in peace.<\/p>\n
ALICIA<\/p>\n
Sorry.<\/p>\n
ERIC<\/p>\n
It’s been tough, y’know, since --<\/p>\n
SANDRA<\/p>\n
Go!<\/p>\n
Sandra shoos them all out.<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n
OVER BLACK<\/p>\n
TITLE: “On May 24th, LOST fans will be released back into the general population.”<\/p>\n
ALICIA (V.O.)<\/p>\n
I’ve got Fringe DVR’d.<\/p>\n
TIFFANY (V.O.)<\/p>\n
Eh.<\/p>\n
ERIC (V.O.)<\/p>\n
I suppose it’ll do.<\/p>\n
TITLE: “We apologize for the inconvenience.”<\/p>\n
TITLE: “LOST”<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Peter’s take on the “LOST” edition of Sketchwar: “Even Nuttier Than It Appears”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[243],"class_list":["post-1612","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-lost"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1612","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1612"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1612\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1615,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1612\/revisions\/1615"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1612"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1612"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1612"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}