Here’s my take on the “Fired!” edition of Sketchwar.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
INT. POLICE SERGEANT’S OFFICE – DAY<\/p>\n
The SERGEANT (40s, clean-cut) sits at a cheap desk in a small, plain room.<\/p>\n
Across from him sits HARRIS (20s, loud, looks like trouble).<\/p>\n
Both wear cop uniforms.<\/p>\n
Harris pulls out his badge.<\/p>\n
HARRIS<\/p>\n
Go ahead. Say it.<\/p>\n
SERGEANT<\/p>\n
Lieutenant Harris, I hereby order you to hand in your badge!<\/p>\n
Harris tosses the badge on the desk.<\/p>\n
HARRIS<\/p>\n
Yeah. ‘cos I’m too close to the case. ‘cos I’ve been doing the job my own way. ‘cos I’ve been pissing off the mayor. Well let me tell you --<\/p>\n
SERGEANT<\/p>\n
No, Harris. I’m suspending you for being a prick.<\/p>\n
HARRIS<\/p>\n
What? Is McCrappy telling tales about --<\/p>\n
SERGEANT<\/p>\n
See, why do you call him “McCrappy”?<\/p>\n
HARRIS<\/p>\n
He loves that nickname!<\/p>\n
SERGEANT<\/p>\n
He hates it! Now everyone calls him that!<\/p>\n
HARRIS<\/p>\n
So?<\/p>\n
SERGEANT<\/p>\n
Son, where are your manners?<\/p>\n
HARRIS<\/p>\n
(shouting)<\/p>\n
I’ll tell you what I think of ‘manners’ --<\/p>\n
SERGEANT<\/p>\n
I’m sitting right here. You don’t have to yell at me. Why do you always shout?<\/p>\n
HARRIS<\/p>\n
I’m just loud!<\/p>\n
SERGEANT<\/p>\n
The entire squad doesn’t have to hear every conversation you have.<\/p>\n
HARRIS<\/p>\n
So what?<\/p>\n
SERGEANT<\/p>\n
I just don’t need to hear you call in your suppository order at the pharmacy while I’m eating -- that’s on the days when I still have food.<\/p>\n
HARRIS<\/p>\n
What’s that supposed to mean?<\/p>\n
SERGEANT<\/p>\n
You’ve been stealing somebody’s lunch from the fridge almost every day, Harris.<\/p>\n
HARRIS<\/p>\n
Yeah, well, it takes a lot of fuel to run this engine.<\/p>\n
Harris pulls out a stick of gum and begins chewing it loudly.<\/p>\n
SERGEANT<\/p>\n
Oh, god, not that chewing-with-your-mouth-open thing.<\/p>\n
Harris spits it in his hand and attaches it to the underside of the desk.<\/p>\n
SERGEANT<\/p>\n
Are you in grade school, Harris? Just get out of here.<\/p>\n
HARRIS<\/p>\n
Fine. I’ll work the case myself. After all, I closed the Park Street murders solo.<\/p>\n
SERGEANT<\/p>\n
And maybe if you’d spend a little less time bragging and a little more time giving other people credit, you wouldn’t be such a drag on morale.<\/p>\n
HARRIS<\/p>\n
Fine.<\/p>\n
Harris gets up, knocking his chair over.<\/p>\n
SERGEANT<\/p>\n
Harris? Come on.<\/p>\n
HARRIS<\/p>\n
No, I’ll go. But don’t think kicking me off the squad will kick me off of justice.<\/p>\n
He storms out of the room, leaving the door open.<\/p>\n
SERGEANT<\/p>\n
Close the door behind you. Were you raised in a barn?<\/p>\n
MCCRACKEN (30s) -- another hotheaded, renegade cop -- pokes his head in.<\/p>\n
MCCRACKEN<\/p>\n
You wanted to see me, Sarge?<\/p>\n
SERGEANT<\/p>\n
McCracken. Harris is suspended. You’ve got the DiMarco homicide.<\/p>\n
MCCRACKEN<\/p>\n
I don’t know, Sergeant. I’m a rebel who doesn’t play by the rules. I cut corners to get the job done, and I don’t care who I rub the wrong way.<\/p>\n
SERGEANT<\/p>\n
Well, you’re not going to steal sandwiches, are you?<\/p>\n
MCCRACKEN<\/p>\n
No, that’s a dick move, why would I -- wait, was that Harris? Was Harris stealing my chicken-salad lunch croissants?<\/p>\n
SERGEANT<\/p>\n
That’s not important --<\/p>\n
As he exits:<\/p>\n
MCCRACKEN<\/p>\n
I am gonna kick his --<\/p>\n
SERGEANT<\/p>\n
McCracken!<\/p>\n
McCracken steps back in.<\/p>\n
MCCRACKEN<\/p>\n
I know, ‘Close the door,’ I got it.<\/p>\n
McCracken exits, closing the door behind him.<\/p>\n
The sergeant looks at the badge.<\/p>\n
Sniffs it.<\/p>\n
Tries taking a bite out of it.<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Peter’s take on the “Fired!” edition of Sketchwar: “Cop Justice”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[240],"class_list":["post-1599","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-fired"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1599","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1599"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1599\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1601,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1599\/revisions\/1601"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1599"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1599"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1599"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}