Here’s my take on the “Westerns” edition of Sketchwar.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
INT. STUDIO EXEC OFFICE – DAY<\/p>\n
CANDACE (20s) and SAM (20s) sit across from an EXECUTIVE (50s, balding, ponytail) in an expensive-looking office with sci-fi movie posters on the walls.<\/p>\n
CANDACE<\/p>\n
And the movie we’re pitching you is called...<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
... The Lost Cowpoke!<\/p>\n
CANDACE<\/p>\n
Here’s the story --<\/p>\n
Just as Sam picks up a printout and starts reading from it, the executive speaks up.<\/p>\n
EXECUTIVE<\/p>\n
Stop. Just stop. A Western? Really?<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
“The year is 1875 --”<\/p>\n
EXECUTIVE<\/p>\n
Westerns are out. Sci-fi is in.<\/p>\n
CANDACE<\/p>\n
Um -- exactly!<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
(sotto voce)<\/p>\n
What?<\/p>\n
CANDACE<\/p>\n
(sotto voce)<\/p>\n
Just read.<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
“The year is 1875 --”<\/p>\n
CANDACE<\/p>\n
... of the Galactic Empire!<\/p>\n
Candace is clearly making all of this up.<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
... and sheriff Jenkins --<\/p>\n
CANDACE<\/p>\n
The sole legal enforcer of a mining colony on the sixth moon of Krelkon!<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
Is fighting off some bandits --<\/p>\n
CANDACE<\/p>\n
An invading force of sentient alien mindworms!<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
He chases them out of town --<\/p>\n
CANDACE<\/p>\n
And they flee through hyperspace!<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
But they abduct his wife --<\/p>\n
CANDACE<\/p>\n
In a statis pod, to take her back to their home planet!<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
So he rounds up his deputy --<\/p>\n
CANDACE<\/p>\n
The dreaded KillBot 3000!<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
They get on their horses --<\/p>\n
CANDACE<\/p>\n
That’s H-O-R-apostrophe-capital-S-E-S, a breed of sentient spaceships.<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
And even though they’re almost killed by Indians --<\/p>\n
CANDACE<\/p>\n
By a warrior race of sentient, genetically-modified spacefaring buffalo!<\/p>\n
SAM<\/p>\n
They, uh, get her back.<\/p>\n
CANDACE<\/p>\n
By peeling her out of the gooey stasis pod and ray-gun blasting their way out of the mindworm planet’s central command!<\/p>\n
The executive pulls out a cell phone, presses a few buttons, sets it on the table. After a moment, the BIG BOSS answers.<\/p>\n
BIG BOSS (V.O.)<\/p>\n
What is it?<\/p>\n
EXECUTIVE<\/p>\n
Boss, I’ve got a promising sci-fi property for you --<\/p>\n
BIG BOSS (V.O.)<\/p>\n
Dammit, sci-fi is out. It’s crested. Romantic comedies are in.<\/p>\n
CANDACE<\/p>\n
Uh -- did I mention the Killbot 3000 is sassy and gay?<\/p>\n
BIG BOSS (V.O.)<\/p>\n
Hmm. Let’s talk.<\/p>\n
The executive picks up the phone and talks with his boss. Meanwhile --<\/p>\n
CANDACE<\/p>\n
(sotto voce)<\/p>\n
You think this is how Firefly got made?<\/p>\n
Sam shrugs.<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Peter’s take on the “Westerns” edition of Sketchwar: “The Lost Cowpoke of Krelkon-6”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[239],"class_list":["post-1597","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-westerns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1597","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1597"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1597\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1598,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1597\/revisions\/1598"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1597"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1597"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1597"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}