Here’s my take on the “Road Trip” edition of Sketchwar.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
INT.\/EXT. JEREMY’S CAR\/HIGHWAY – DAY<\/p>\n
JEREMY (30s) drives a Nissan Sentra down the highway.<\/p>\n
BRIAN (30s) sits in the passenger seat, fussing with a map.<\/p>\n
JEREMY<\/p>\n
If we get back to the 402, we could be in Atlanta by 5:30, and at Mom’s by 6:15.<\/p>\n
BRIAN<\/p>\n
So we might be late. No big deal.<\/p>\n
JEREMY<\/p>\n
I knew we should’ve brought a GPS.<\/p>\n
BRIAN<\/p>\n
I don’t need a GPS. I’ll figure out where we are.<\/p>\n
Suddenly, the car FREEZES IN PLACE.<\/p>\n
Jeremy and Brian look around, confused.<\/p>\n
WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)<\/p>\n
Yep, looks like them Clifton boys were having themselves an argument about technology.<\/p>\n
The car UNFREEZES with a small jolt, and they’re sailing down the highway again.<\/p>\n
Jeremy takes a second to regain control of the car.<\/p>\n
JEREMY<\/p>\n
What just happened?<\/p>\n
BRIAN<\/p>\n
Yeah, how did we not get thrown through the windshield. That’s pretty cool --<\/p>\n
JEREMY<\/p>\n
Who was that voice?<\/p>\n
BRIAN<\/p>\n
Sounded like that Dukes of Hazzard guy -- Waylon Jennings?<\/p>\n
JEREMY<\/p>\n
Isn’t he dead?<\/p>\n
The car FREEZES again.<\/p>\n
WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)<\/p>\n
Turns out they were right confused by the occasional freeze frames and voiceovers.<\/p>\n
The car UNFREEZES. Jeremy slows down.<\/p>\n
JEREMY<\/p>\n
This isn’t safe. We’ll pull over and wait it out.<\/p>\n
BRIAN<\/p>\n
Aw.<\/p>\n
The car FREEZES.<\/p>\n
WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)<\/p>\n
In that case, it turns out them Clifton boys had ordered themselves a whole mess of trouble. Lucky for them, that’s just what the Hazzard County P. D. was serving up!<\/p>\n
The car UNFREEZES.<\/p>\n
JEREMY<\/p>\n
What?<\/p>\n
Sounds of SIRENS.<\/p>\n
Jeremy checks the rearview with alarm, starts to pull over.<\/p>\n
JEREMY<\/p>\n
I’m sorry, Redneck Jesus!<\/p>\n
BRIAN<\/p>\n
Oh, that’s just derogatory.<\/p>\n
JEREMY<\/p>\n
But we didn’t -- how can we be in trouble?<\/p>\n
The car FREEZES.<\/p>\n
WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)<\/p>\n
Oh, them Clifton boys were always getting themselves into trouble -- runnin’ moonshine, jumpin’ their late-model Nissan Sentra over a hill, even goin’ after the same girl.<\/p>\n
BRIAN<\/p>\n
Nah, that wouldn’t happen, ‘cos I’m gay.<\/p>\n
JEREMY<\/p>\n
Don’t tell Waylon Jennings that!<\/p>\n
WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)<\/p>\n
Sometimes, they just irritated people by sayin’ they’d “pull over and wait things out.”<\/p>\n
The car UNFREEZES.<\/p>\n
Jeremy hits the gas.<\/p>\n
JEREMY<\/p>\n
Okay. Okay, I’m speeding up. God, I hate this guy.<\/p>\n
BRIAN<\/p>\n
How can you hate Waylon Jennings?<\/p>\n
JEREMY<\/p>\n
The man claims I’m some kind of moonshine-running good ol’ boy!<\/p>\n
BRIAN<\/p>\n
Isn’t a home microbrew technically moonshine?<\/p>\n
JEREMY<\/p>\n
No, it’s -- that’s not the point! He’s got the cops after us, and I think he wants us to jump the car over something.<\/p>\n
The car FREEZES.<\/p>\n
WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)<\/p>\n
Just once. That’s all I really want.<\/p>\n
BRIAN<\/p>\n
That exit looks hilly.<\/p>\n
JEREMY<\/p>\n
Brian --<\/p>\n
BRIAN<\/p>\n
He’s probably bored, Jeremy. Dukes of Hazzard hasn’t aired since, what, 1981?<\/p>\n
The car UNFREEZES.<\/p>\n
JEREMY<\/p>\n
So?<\/p>\n
BRIAN<\/p>\n
Plus, I bet he could make the cops go away.<\/p>\n
JEREMY<\/p>\n
Fine.<\/p>\n
Jeremy signals, pulls to the right, and guns the engine.<\/p>\n
BRIAN<\/p>\n
There’s the hill!<\/p>\n
Suddenly, the car is airborne.<\/p>\n
Jeremy screams.<\/p>\n
BRIAN<\/p>\n
Yee-haw!<\/p>\n
He reaches over and hits the horn, which (of course) plays a bar of “Dixie”.<\/p>\n
As the car lands, it FREEZES.<\/p>\n
WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)<\/p>\n
Thanks, boys. Have a nice trip.<\/p>\n
The car UNFREEZES.<\/p>\n
EXT. HIGHWAY – CONTINUOUS<\/p>\n
The car drives away.<\/p>\n
WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)<\/p>\n
The cops changed their minds and left the Clifton boys alone.<\/p>\n
BRIAN (O.S.)<\/p>\n
Thanks, dude!<\/p>\n
WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)<\/p>\n
Later on, Jeremy finally bought them a GPS. Personally, I’d recommend a low-end Garmin.<\/p>\n
JEREMY (O.S.)<\/p>\n
Okay, fine!<\/p>\n
WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)<\/p>\n
And both of them had learned a little bit about life along the way.<\/p>\n
JEREMY (O.S.)<\/p>\n
Never driving that way again.<\/p>\n
BRIAN (O.S.)<\/p>\n
Shhh!<\/p>\n
PAN TO a sign: “Now Leaving Hazzard County.”<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Peter’s take on the “Road Trip” edition of Sketchwar: “Road Hazards”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[165],"class_list":["post-1540","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-road-trip"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1540","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1540"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1540\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1540"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1540"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1540"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}