Here’s my take on the “Freshman Year” edition of Sketchwar.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
FADE IN:\u00a0<\/p>\n
INT. COUNSELLOR’S OFFICE – DAY<\/p>\n
KYLE (17) sits on one side of a cheap desk in a small office.<\/p>\n
The COUNSELLOR (35) sits on the other, thumbing through some papers.<\/p>\n
COUNSELLOR<\/p>\n
You’ve got solid grades across the board in your first semester.<\/p>\n
KYLE<\/p>\n
Great!<\/p>\n
COUNSELLOR<\/p>\n
But you still have to declare a major by the end of today.<\/p>\n
KYLE<\/p>\n
But I have no idea what to major in.<\/p>\n
The counsellor hands over a sheet of paper.<\/p>\n
COUNSELLOR<\/p>\n
Here’s the list.<\/p>\n
Kyle glances it over.<\/p>\n
KYLE<\/p>\n
Maybe engineering?<\/p>\n
COUNSELLOR<\/p>\n
Well, that’ll put you in with a few people who love building stuff --<\/p>\n
KYLE<\/p>\n
Great!<\/p>\n
COUNSELLOR<\/p>\n
-- and then a lot of kids who’ve basically given up on life and have resolved to just accumulate money.<\/p>\n
KYLE<\/p>\n
Oh. Well, I could study computers --<\/p>\n
The counsellor pulls a spray bottle from his desk, sprays it into the air.<\/p>\n
Kyle winces.<\/p>\n
KYLE<\/p>\n
Smells like... body odor and stale Hot Pockets.<\/p>\n
COUNSELLOR<\/p>\n
That’s what all the computer lab smells like.<\/p>\n
KYLE<\/p>\n
Ew. So I’d have to put up with that until I graduate?<\/p>\n
COUNSELLOR<\/p>\n
Until you retire, actually. And -- I dunno if you like<\/i> women, but --<\/p>\n
KYLE<\/p>\n
There’s a gender ratio in comp. sci., isn’t there?<\/p>\n
COUNSELLOR<\/p>\n
(nods)<\/p>\n
Think “Fire Island in the late 70s.”<\/p>\n
KYLE<\/p>\n
Well, I could study one of the basic sciences -- maybe biology, or --<\/p>\n
COUNSELLOR<\/p>\n
Those are mostly pre-meds.<\/p>\n
KYLE<\/p>\n
That’s bad?<\/p>\n
COUNSELLOR<\/p>\n
Most of them are soulless grade-grubbers who spend every waking moment to satisfy their parents’ clich\u00e9d ambitions for them. But there are a few kids who want to be scientists.<\/p>\n
KYLE<\/p>\n
Those are better?<\/p>\n
COUNSELLOR<\/p>\n
They’re a bit like monks, only drunker.<\/p>\n
KYLE<\/p>\n
Liberal arts, then?<\/p>\n
COUNSELLOR<\/p>\n
It can’t be beat as far as the company goes. Sure, you’ll wind up unemployable, but you’ll spend four years hanging out with interesting people.<\/p>\n
KYLE<\/p>\n
But I’d like to prepare for a job --<\/p>\n
COUNSELLOR<\/p>\n
Kyle, unemployment’s at 10%. You’ll be flipping burgers, at best, no matter what. It frankly doesn’t matter what useless degree you pick up here. Follow your bliss.<\/p>\n
KYLE<\/p>\n
Oh. So, maybe theater?<\/p>\n
A pause.<\/p>\n
Kyle laughs. The counsellor joins him.<\/p>\n
KYLE<\/p>\n
Kidding!<\/p>\n
COUNSELLOR<\/p>\n
Whew. Yeah. A theater degree implies that you can’t be trusted with technology, money, or sharp objects. Any other<\/i> degree should be fine.<\/p>\n
KYLE<\/p>\n
Could I double major in English and biology?<\/p>\n
COUNSELLOR<\/p>\n
The course load would be crazy and you’d have no life.<\/p>\n
KYLE<\/p>\n
I have no life now!<\/p>\n
COUNSELLOR<\/p>\n
Looks like we’ve got a deal!<\/p>\n
Handshake.<\/p>\n
Freeze-frame.<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Peter’s take on the “Freshman Year” edition of Sketchwar: “Major Decisions”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[72],"class_list":["post-1528","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-freshman-year"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1528","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1528"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1528\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1528"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1528"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1528"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}