Here’s my take on the “Witches, Warlocks, Wizards, and Sprites” edition of Sketchwar.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
FADE IN:\u00a0<\/p>\n
INT. WITCHES’ CELLAR – NIGHT<\/p>\n
A roaring fireplace illuminates a small-but-comfy medieval cellar with tapestries on the walls, odd bits of magical equipment, and piles of books.<\/p>\n
WYNDA (a witch) reads from a book clearly labeled “PROPHECIES”, while AILEANA and SKYE (also witches) listen.<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
... and Macduff comes out with Macbeth’s severed head, and then there’s a big party.<\/p>\n
She snaps the book shut.<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
So. That’s what’s going to happen. How much of this prophesy do we tell Macbeth?<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
Everything.<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
Aileana --<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
Wynda, this is what witches do. And it’s the most thorough foretelling we’ve gotten.<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
You’ll just walk up to him and say, “You’re gonna die!”?<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
Yeah, except it’ll be more like, “You’re gonna die! How you like that, bitch?!”<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
No. We do that, Macbeth kills us.<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
“You’re gonna die, your wife is gonna die --”<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
Ailey --<\/p>\n
SKYE<\/p>\n
Did you say Lady Macbeth dies?<\/p>\n
Wynda thumbs through the book.<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
Yeah, that was --<\/p>\n
SKYE<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
So technically, for a while, he’ll be single?<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
Skye --<\/p>\n
SKYE<\/p>\n
I think we should only tell Macbeth the good parts. I think that would make him happy.<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
I just don’t want to die.<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
Wynda, a detailed prediction like this would get us so much respect in the witching community. We know Macbeth kills Banquo, we know he has Macduff’s family killed --<\/p>\n
SKYE<\/p>\n
I don’t want us to say bad things about dear sweet Mackie.<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
He’s not sweet. He’s a murderer.<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
He will<\/i> be a murderer.<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
Whatever.<\/p>\n
SKYE<\/p>\n
Anyway, we ought to warn dear sweet Mackie about what might happen.<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
Skye, it’s already going to happen.<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
Remember when you tried to warn Lear about the kingdom-splitting?<\/p>\n
SKYE<\/p>\n
Yes.<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
-- and we almost got burned at the stake?<\/p>\n
SKYE<\/p>\n
But dear sweet Mackie wouldn’t do that!<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
Actually, a warning might make sense.<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
Macbeth won’t listen!<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
I know, I know, hear me out. We offer Macbeth some cryptic warning.<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
Then Macbeth dismisses it and does what’s in the book.<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
I know -- but then the warning comes true, right?<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
Oh, right -- can we come to Dunsinane then and be all, “TOLDJA!”<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
Do what you want -- I don’t want to be around when the head-chopping starts.<\/p>\n
SKYE<\/p>\n
Can we include a prophecy about how Lady Macbeth is no good for him, and he needs a girl who really appreciates him?<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
No, Skye.<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
Maybe I could glamor myself to look like a footsoldier.<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
My point is, it looks like we were trying to help. The other witches are impressed, the thanes think we’re useful --<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
Let’s suck up to politicians!<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
Is it wrong to think about our business plan?<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
Fine.<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
We’ll see him after the battle. Chant about the Thane of Cawdor thing. Eventually give him a few cryptic warnings.<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
And then punch him in the face?<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
And then leave. And then go back to siphoning money from gambling houses. Good?<\/p>\n
Aileana and Skye mutter their agreement.<\/p>\n
The witches gather up bits of equipment, and prepare to leave.<\/p>\n
SKYE<\/p>\n
Must we chant?<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
It’s part of the brand identity, Skye.<\/p>\n
SKYE<\/p>\n
I have a poem we could use.<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
Oh?<\/p>\n
SKYE<\/p>\n
“Double, double, toil and trouble \/ May I touch your manly stubble? \/ Then I’ll kiss your --”<\/p>\n
As they exit --<\/p>\n
AILEANA<\/p>\n
Oh god.<\/p>\n
WYNDA<\/p>\n
Maybe the first line, Skye.<\/p>\n
SKYE<\/p>\n
Yay!<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Peter’s take on the “Witches, Warlocks, Wizards, and Sprites” edition of Sketchwar: “Double, Double, and So On.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[231],"class_list":["post-1525","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-witches"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1525","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1525"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1525\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1525"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1525"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1525"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}