Here’s my take on the “Lottery” edition of Sketchwar.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
FADE IN:\u00a0<\/p>\n
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT<\/p>\n
Two twenty-somethings -- RICHARD and SOFIA -- watch television in a nice-but-not-fancy living room. They both hold their lotto tickets.<\/p>\n
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)<\/p>\n
-- your jackpot-lotto numbers after these messages!<\/p>\n
Richard picks up the TV remote and mutes the TV.<\/p>\n
RICHARD<\/p>\n
Scrooge McDuck vault.<\/p>\n
SOFIA<\/p>\n
The first thing you’d buy would --<\/p>\n
RICHARD<\/p>\n
I’d convert some of the money to pennies. Fill up a vault. Scrooge McDuck vault.<\/p>\n
SOFIA<\/p>\n
Richard, a ball pit would be far more economical.<\/p>\n
RICHARD<\/p>\n
I want to swim through money. Balls aren’t money.<\/p>\n
SOFIA<\/p>\n
You realize that was a cartoon?<\/p>\n
RICHARD<\/p>\n
Okay, Sofia. You win the lottery. First thing you do. Go.<\/p>\n
SOFIA<\/p>\n
Photocopy the ticket and call a finance lawyer.<\/p>\n
RICHARD<\/p>\n
Try something different. I would buy a BWM X6. You would buy...<\/p>\n
SOFIA<\/p>\n
I’d hire a financial advisor to set up a range of low-risk investments.<\/p>\n
RICHARD<\/p>\n
And also...<\/p>\n
SOFIA<\/p>\n
And also a team of auditors.<\/p>\n
RICHARD<\/p>\n
What?<\/p>\n
SOFIA<\/p>\n
Asset management carries heavy moral risk!<\/p>\n
RICHARD<\/p>\n
Okay. A house. Would you buy a house?<\/p>\n
Sofia gestures at the room.<\/p>\n
SOFIA<\/p>\n
I’ve got a house.<\/p>\n
RICHARD<\/p>\n
A big house. On a mountain. With a dragon or -- okay, just a big house.<\/p>\n
SOFIA<\/p>\n
Housing is an unstable investment.<\/p>\n
RICHARD<\/p>\n
The craziest thing you would buy. What is it?<\/p>\n
SOFIA<\/p>\n
I’d invest 3% of total assets in an international growth fund. I know. Crazy!<\/p>\n
RICHARD<\/p>\n
Sofia. I think you don’t know what money is for.<\/p>\n
SOFIA<\/p>\n
And I think you, Richard, would spend yourself broke in a year!<\/p>\n
RICHARD<\/p>\n
Just because I want a midget manservant to follow me around?<\/p>\n
SOFIA<\/p>\n
Dwarves have higher-than-average medical insurance, Richard, not to mention the bespoke uniforms, and --<\/p>\n
The stops short, grabs the remote, un-mutes the TV.<\/p>\n
In the background, Father DENTON (40s, white) enters. He holds his own ticket and watches the TV.<\/p>\n
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)<\/p>\n
That’s 09-38-44-48-49-13.<\/p>\n
SOFIA<\/p>\n
Oh well.<\/p>\n
RICHARD<\/p>\n
Damn.<\/p>\n
DENTON<\/p>\n
YEEAAAHHH!<\/p>\n
Sofia and Richard turn around.<\/p>\n
DENTON<\/p>\n
I win! I win, bitches! And guess what? It’s all going to charity!<\/p>\n
Father Denton exits.<\/p>\n
DENTON (O.S.)<\/p>\n
Orphanage gonna get paid, yo!<\/p>\n
SOFIA<\/p>\n
We can agree that we hate Father Denton.<\/p>\n
RICHARD<\/p>\n
Word.<\/p>\n
They fist bump.<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Peter’s take on the “Lottery” edition of Sketchwar: “Pennies or Plastic?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[122],"class_list":["post-1509","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-lottery"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1509","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1509"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1509\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1509"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1509"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1509"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}