Here’s my take on the “Weddings” edition of Sketchwar.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
FADE IN:\u00a0<\/p>\n
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT<\/p>\n
Typical post-college apartment: a bland room with cheap furniture and dim lighting.<\/p>\n
TAYLOR (early 20s) plays a video game while NEIL (early 20s) eagerly looks on.<\/p>\n
We hear the GAME AUDIO but we can’t see the screen.<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
Got it.<\/p>\n
NEIL<\/p>\n
Badass!<\/p>\n
ANNA (early 20s) enters, looks at the screen with alarm.<\/p>\n
ANNA<\/p>\n
You’re playing this without a wedding planner?<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
I’m trying to unlock an achievement! Duh.<\/p>\n
ANNA<\/p>\n
How did you even get to day two?<\/p>\n
NEIL<\/p>\n
He’s on the pre-ceremony level!<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
Everything’s fine, the stress meters are green, I’ve stored up three sanity totems --<\/p>\n
ANNA<\/p>\n
Yeah, but now you have to corral all the people into the church --<\/p>\n
NEIL<\/p>\n
He’s got 83% of them in the pews.<\/p>\n
ANNA<\/p>\n
Oh, and you have to keep Lars away from his ex-girlfriend.<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
I’m trying -- crap!<\/p>\n
NEIL<\/p>\n
So they’re having an argument, it’s no big --<\/p>\n
EVERYONE<\/p>\n
Whoa.<\/p>\n
NEIL<\/p>\n
Ow.<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
That lady can throw a punch.<\/p>\n
ANNA<\/p>\n
And now the kids have gotten loose.<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
What?<\/p>\n
NEIL<\/p>\n
She means the unattended children running --<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
Oh crap, they’re attacking the wedding photographer.<\/p>\n
NEIL<\/p>\n
Look at the bright side -- you’ve got 90% of the people into the building, right?<\/p>\n
ANNA<\/p>\n
Click on the bridesmaids. Can’t they take care of --<\/p>\n
NEIL<\/p>\n
They’re all hung over. In the previous stage, we did that mini-game --<\/p>\n
ANNA<\/p>\n
The one with all the tequila? Really?<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
The bridesmaids’ stress levels were through the roof. So I traded off one thing for -- why am I even still on this level?<\/p>\n
NEIL<\/p>\n
Yeah. You’ve done all the requirements.<\/p>\n
Everyone ponders this.<\/p>\n
ANNA<\/p>\n
Where’s the groom?<\/p>\n
Taylor scans the screen.<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
Oh, crap.<\/p>\n
NEIL<\/p>\n
Do the cell-phone search --<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
What? How is he still at the hotel?!<\/p>\n
ANNA<\/p>\n
Wow.<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
The AI in this game is BALLS!<\/p>\n
NEIL<\/p>\n
Put him in the pedicab.<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
Okay. Level cleared.<\/p>\n
ANNA<\/p>\n
Barely. And the ceremony’s starting an hour late.<\/p>\n
NEIL<\/p>\n
An hour late is no big de-- oh.<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
The officiant has had enough time to get drunk. Crap.<\/p>\n
ANNA<\/p>\n
Keep him upright!<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
I’m trying.<\/p>\n
NEIL<\/p>\n
Hey, the groom showed up! Ooh.<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
The AI had him walk through mud?! Really?<\/p>\n
ANNA<\/p>\n
Watch the stress meters!<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
Yeah -- there go my sanity totems.<\/p>\n
ANNA<\/p>\n
Whoa, the father of the bride’s about to clock the groom.<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
What can I do about it?<\/p>\n
NEIL<\/p>\n
Use the officiant!<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
He’s drunk!<\/p>\n
ANNA<\/p>\n
Just keep the fist-fight away from the altar, and -- oh.<\/p>\n
NEIL<\/p>\n
Did the unity candle just explode?<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
Now people are on fire.<\/p>\n
NEIL<\/p>\n
Nice flame effects!<\/p>\n
ANNA<\/p>\n
Everybody’s stampeding out of the church!<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
I know.<\/p>\n
ANNA<\/p>\n
Stop them!<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
With what?<\/p>\n
A MINOR-KEY, DIRGE-Y VERSION OF THE WEDDING MARCH PLAYS.<\/p>\n
TAYLOR<\/p>\n
Damn.<\/p>\n
ANNA<\/p>\n
I am never, never getting married.<\/p>\n
BLACKOUT.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Peter’s take on the “Weddings” edition of Sketchwar: “The Ceremony Level”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[228],"class_list":["post-1506","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-weddings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1506","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1506"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1506\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1506"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1506"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1506"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}