Here’s my commentary for the 5\/6\/09 round of Sketchwar, which had the theme “Mother’s Day.”<\/p>\n
I continue slowly catching up on Sketchwar commentary. This week, I got back from Chicago and immediately took sick with bronchitis. Fun, fun, fun. So, no sketch from me the week of 5\/6\/09 either. I really dug the right turn into surreal-land at the end. I appreciated the fact that you brought in the robots early and let the audience wonder what the hell was up for a bit. And the payoff, where they all speculate as to the symbolic significance of the fight scene, felt very entertaining.<\/p>\n I love it when comic characters keep resolutely being themselves under suddenly-changed circumstances. I dunno, I guess I didn’t get this one. I like the basic idea of the fed-up mother bailing on her family and spending Valentine’s Day in Hawaii, but… I dunno. The long build-up to the discovery? Not so much ‘funny’ as ‘setup’. Then the antics with the blow-up doll and the flash-bulb? Not so much ‘funny’ as ‘confusing’. And then the long, recorded tirade from the mother? Not so much ‘funny’ as ‘angry’.<\/p>\n Even the closing button — while it was a nice callback to the box of chocolate that Roger brought — felt a little weak, humor-wise.<\/p>\n
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\n“Virgin Mother\u2019s Day”<\/b><\/a>
\nDefinitely a good concept here, and mostly a good delivery. For a second draft, I’d recommend creating a clearer ‘arc’ to the complaints about the children. First there’s a minor complaint. Then there’s a heavier complaint. Then an even more serious one. In fact, the women could be deliberately trying to outdo each other (“Oy! You think *you* have troubles?!”) in ‘My Kids Suck’ poker.<\/p>\n
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\n“Chocolate?”<\/b><\/a>
\nI don’t usually get hung up on logistics (at least, I don’t *think* I do), but this time, I couldn’t get away from this question: why would Roger go to his mother’s bedroom? Wouldn’t he see all the accoutrements laid out for an elaborate, romantic, Valentine’s-Day tryst, and… well… leave?<\/p>\n