Here’s my take on the “Bad Manners” edition of Sketchwar.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
FADE IN:<\/p>\n
TITLE: “Reservoir Dogs: The Exceedingly Polite Version”<\/p>\n
INT. WAREHOUSE – NIGHT<\/p>\n
The iconic Reservoir Dogs scene: MR. BLONDE shuts the warehouse door and turns towards the COP, who is tied to a chair.<\/p>\n
Other items in the room: a second chair, a radio, a canister of gasoline.<\/p>\n
MR. BLONDE<\/p>\n
Now, where were we, officer?<\/p>\n
COP<\/p>\n
I was wracking my brains trying to recall anything about a possible “set up” in your organization. Still coming up dry, I’m afraid.<\/p>\n
MR. BLONDE<\/p>\n
Would it be okay if I tortured you?<\/p>\n
COP<\/p>\n
Absolutely! Given the circumstantial evidence, it’s completely understandable to suspect me of withholding information.<\/p>\n
MR. BLONDE<\/p>\n
Actually, I don’t need information. I’m going to torture you because I really don’t like cops. No offense.<\/p>\n
COP<\/p>\n
None taken! I’m just relieved to hear it’s nothing personal.<\/p>\n
MR. BLONDE<\/p>\n
Would you care for some music while I -- y’know --<\/p>\n
COP<\/p>\n
Please!<\/p>\n
He crosses to the radio and turns it on.<\/p>\n
It PLAYS “Stuck in the Middle With You.”<\/p>\n
COP<\/p>\n
Ah, Stealer’s Wheel! How delightful!<\/p>\n
MR. BLONDE<\/p>\n
Really? It’s one of my favorites, too.<\/p>\n
Mr. Blonde sashays over to the cop in time with the music. He opens a large knife. He grabs a chair and sits opposite the cop.<\/p>\n
MR. BLONDE<\/p>\n
Brace yourself, officer. This will hurt quite a bit.<\/p>\n
COP<\/p>\n
Thanks for the warning!<\/p>\n
He reaches out and cuts off the cop’s ear.<\/p>\n
The cop screams.<\/p>\n
COP<\/p>\n
Pardon my screaming!<\/p>\n
MR. BLONDE<\/p>\n
No problem. I imagine having your ear cut off is painful. If it was my ear, I’m sure I’d scream.<\/p>\n
COP<\/p>\n
Fair enough, sir.<\/p>\n
MR. BLONDE<\/p>\n
Now, I just feel awful about this, officer, but I am going to have to set you on fire.<\/p>\n
COP<\/p>\n
Ah well. Perhaps you could use that gasoline over there? That should speed up the process.<\/p>\n
MR. BLONDE<\/p>\n
Of course.<\/p>\n
He gets the canister and splashes the cop with gasoline while singing along to the music.<\/p>\n
COP<\/p>\n
Before I die, I’d just like to point out that you have a lovely singing voice.<\/p>\n
MR. BLONDE<\/p>\n
What a nice compliment! Thank you! I’m amazed that you’re able to notice that, what with only the one ear and all the physical pain.<\/p>\n
COP<\/p>\n
Well, I am a lover of the arts.<\/p>\n
Mr. Blonde produces a match.<\/p>\n
MR. BLONDE<\/p>\n
All right, then. Any last words?<\/p>\n
COP<\/p>\n
None spring to mind. Just not my day, is it?<\/p>\n
Mr. Blonde shrugs sympathetically, lights the match, and holds it out towards the cop.<\/p>\n
BLAM! A shot EXPLODES in Mr. Blonde’s chest.<\/p>\n
The camera WHIPS AROUND and we see MR. ORANGE unloading his weapon into Mr. Blonde.<\/p>\n
Mr. Blonde lands flat on his back.<\/p>\n
Mr. Orange approaches.<\/p>\n
COP<\/p>\n
Wow.<\/p>\n
(sternly)<\/p>\n
I think you’d better apologize.<\/p>\n
Mr. Orange looks at his feet guiltily.<\/p>\n
Then, to Mr. Blonde --<\/p>\n
MR. ORANGE<\/p>\n
Sorry, Mr. Blonde.<\/p>\n
Mr. Blonde makes a “think nothing of it” gesture and dies.<\/p>\n
FADE OUT.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Peter’s take on the “Bad Manners” edition of Sketchwar: “Reservoir Dogs<\/i>: The Exceedingly Polite Version”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[24],"class_list":["post-1417","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-bad-manners"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1417","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1417"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1417\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1417"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1417"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1417"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}