{"id":139,"date":"2008-10-31T11:33:00","date_gmt":"2008-10-31T19:33:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wwwold.sketchwar.org\/?p=139"},"modified":"2008-10-31T11:33:00","modified_gmt":"2008-10-31T19:33:00","slug":"fsw-trick-or-treat-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/?p=139","title":{"rendered":"FSW: Trick or Treat edition"},"content":{"rendered":"
Happy Halloween Everybody!<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/span> <\/div>\n
Let’s drop a little sketch into that goody bag shall we? It’s sugar free, but I won’t gurantee it’s razor-blade free. This week’s theme was “Trick or Treat” – and since I offered it up, I tried to get as many variations of tricks, treats and trick-or-treating into the sketch as possible. Theme honors go back to Richard for next week (although I’m sure a good theme suggested in comments would get used as well – so fire away).<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/span> <\/div>\n
No word from Michael, David or Richard yet….but then again, Richard is sporting a cool-ass Warner Brothers jack-o-lantern, and all I have is a sketch. Updates posted as more goodies get dropped in the blog-bag.<\/span><\/div>\n
__________________________________________________________________<\/div>\n
EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE – NIGHT
The front porch of a nice suburban middle class house is all a glow with jack-o-lanterns, fake skeletons, a cauldron belching dry-ice smoke, etc. The sounds of a party come from inside – music, laughter, and people havign a great time. Three kids about 10 years old and in old-school costumes – a ghost, a witch and a devil – run up on the porch excited. They ring the doorbell, and THOM answers.<\/em>
<\/span>
KIDS<\/u><\/strong>
Trick or treat!!!<\/p>\n

THOM<\/u><\/strong>
Awwww…look at you guys! You look great! Hold open your bags.<\/p>\n

All the kids do<\/em>
<\/span>
THOM (CONT)<\/em><\/u><\/strong>
You guys look so great I\u2019m going to give you extra! Two for you, two for you and two for you!<\/p>\n

KIDS<\/u><\/strong>
Thank you!!!<\/p>\n

The kids run off to the next house<\/p>\n

THOM<\/u><\/strong>
You\u2019re very welcome – Happy Halloween!!!<\/p>\n

KIDS (O.S.)<\/em><\/u><\/strong>
Happy Halloween!<\/p>\n

THOM closes the door and goes back inside.<\/span><\/p>\n

Three adults walk up to the door now, all in long robes. The woman in the middle of the group – IRENE- wears a back satin robe with a white sash around her shoulders. The two on the ends – ZEKE and FLOYD – wear white robes and carry flaming torches.<\/p>\n

They step onto the porch and ring the doorbell too. THOM answers.<\/span> <\/em><\/p>\n

THOM<\/u><\/strong>
Oh…hey it\u2019s Irene, Zeke and Floyd, isn\u2019t it? Wow, you guys are spooky. You must be…<\/p>\n

IRENE immediately pulls out a holy water sprinkler and dowses THOM.<\/span>
<\/em>
IRENE<\/u><\/strong>
FOUL DEMON!!! BEGONE!!! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS THEE!!!<\/p>\n

ZEKE and FLOYD start chanting<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

THOM<\/u><\/strong>
Ahhh, my eyes!!! Jesus!<\/p>\n

IRENE lets him have it with the sprinkler again…more chanting ensues<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/span>IRENE<\/u><\/strong>
USE NOT THE LORD\u2019S NAME IN VAIN, FOUL BETRAYER OF THE FAITH!!!!<\/p>\n

THOM<\/u><\/strong>
Stop that would you?<\/p>\n

IRENE motions for ZEKE and FLOYD to stop, but she keeps her sprinkler cocked for action. THOM gets the water out of his eyes.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

THOM<\/u><\/strong>
Man that burns…what\u2019s in that thing?<\/p>\n

IRENE<\/u><\/strong>
Holy water, garlic extract and Red Bull.<\/p>\n

FLOYD AND ZEKE<\/u><\/strong>
It giveth the Lord\u2019s work wings!<\/p>\n

THOM<\/u><\/strong>
What the heck are you doing?<\/p>\n

IRENE<\/u><\/strong>
We are on a heavenly quest to rid the neighborhood of sinners, and you are a foul betrayer of the Lord!<\/p>\n

FLOYD AND ZEKE<\/u><\/strong>
(in unison)<\/em>
<\/span>FOUL BETRAYER!!!!<\/p>\n

IRENE<\/u><\/strong>
You celebrate pagan festivals with heathen rituals!<\/p>\n

FLOYD AND ZEKE<\/u><\/strong>
FOUL BETRAYER!!!!<\/p>\n

IRENE<\/u><\/strong>
You lure children to your wicked ways with candy.<\/p>\n

FLOYD AND ZEKE<\/u><\/strong>
FOUL BETRAYER!!!<\/p>\n

THOM<\/u><\/strong>
Annnnnndddddd I didn\u2019t invite you and your brothers to my Halloween party.<\/p>\n

FLOYD AND ZEKE<\/u><\/strong>
FOUL BETRAYER!!!<\/p>\n

THOM<\/u><\/strong>
That\u2019s what this is really about, isn\u2019t it Irene? The fact that I didn\u2019t invite you to my party?<\/p>\n

IRENE<\/u><\/strong>
No…not at all. We did not want to be invited to your pagan celebration of evil.<\/p>\n

FLOYD AND ZEKE<\/u><\/strong>
FOUL CELEBRATION!!!<\/p>\n

THOM<\/u><\/strong>
Irene, I only know you because you run the doggie day-care.<\/p>\n

IRENE<\/u><\/strong>
We are just doing the Lord\u2019s work…to purge our neighborhood of evil.<\/p>\n

THOM<\/u><\/strong>
Look, it\u2019s just a bunch of friends from my law office and some old college buddies. You and your brothers would feel a really out of place.<\/p>\n

IRENE sees the cauldron decoration<\/em>
<\/span>
IRENE<\/u><\/strong>
Look…a cauldron. A tool of the witch….yet he is male! HE PROMOTES WITCHCRAFT AND HOMOSEXUALITY!!!<\/p>\n

FLOYD AND ZEKE<\/u><\/strong>
FOUL GENDER BETRAYER!!!<\/p>\n

More chanting and holy water<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

THOM<\/u><\/strong>
(to IRENE)<\/em>
<\/span>You and your brothers take great care of Mr. Barkley, but I don\u2019t really know you at all. I just see you when I drop him off.<\/p>\n

IRENE<\/u><\/strong>
Summon the rest of the congregation. Tell them to bring torches.<\/p>\n

ZEKE and FLOYD pull cell phones out of their robes and start dialing<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

THOM<\/u><\/strong>
No…stop…look, you guys want to come to my party, come on in. There\u2019s plenty of beer….oh, you\u2019re religious so, we have…<\/p>\n

ZEKE<\/u><\/strong>
Any vodka?<\/p>\n

THOM<\/u><\/strong>
Grey Goose.<\/p>\n

FLOYD<\/u><\/strong>
Elitist<\/p>\n

THOM<\/u><\/strong>
I\u2019ll get whatever vodka you want. Come on….it\u2019ll Be fun. We\u2019ll discuss bible verses, your favorite plague, whatever makes you happy!<\/p>\n

IRENE<\/u><\/strong>
NO!!! No compromises evil one – the Lord\u2019s justice must be done here. Zeke, Floyd, burn the evil one\u2019s dwelling to the ground …silence his tongue lest his ravings make us mad!<\/p>\n

ZEKE and FLOYD move to set fire to the house. LESLIE (dressed as a sexy angel) and RACHEL (as a sexy devil) come to through the door behind THOM. ZEKE and FLOYD stop in their tracks.<\/span>
<\/em>
LESLIE<\/u><\/strong>
Thom, what\u2019s taking so long? We\u2019re holding up the Twister match for you.<\/p>\n

RACHEL<\/u><\/strong>
(looking at ZEKE and FLOYD)<\/span><\/em>
What about you two? Wanna play? Twister is better when there\u2019s a whole bunch of people, all tangled together and rubbing against one another. Hehehe!<\/p>\n

ZEKE and FLOYD look at each other, then start to walk into THOM\u2019s house. THOM stops them.<\/span>
<\/em>
THOM<\/u><\/strong>
Guys
\n, no torches in the house.<\/p>\n

FLOYD and ZEKE look at one another, then the torches, then at the girls. They dump their torches in the cauldron, and go into the house while the torches extinguish with a sizzle.<\/span><\/p>\n

IRENE watches them go, downtrodden<\/span>.<\/em><\/p>\n

THOM<\/u><\/strong>
Irene, come on in. We\u2019ll just forget this ever happened.<\/p>\n

IRENE<\/u><\/strong>
NEVER! I must carry the burden of the Lord\u2019s work myself!<\/p>\n

IRENE starts sprinkling the house<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

IRENE<\/u><\/strong>
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU – FOUL DEMONS OUT!!! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU – FOUL DEMONS OUT!!!<\/p>\n

PAT, an extremely butch looking woman in a flannel shirt comes out of the front door.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

PAT<\/u><\/strong>
Hey Thom, it was really nice of you to invite me to your party, m but I feel awkward around all your law office buddies and college friends. I mean I\u2019m just your mechanic and…<\/p>\n

IRENE and PAT lock eyes.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

PAT<\/u><\/strong>
Nice robes.<\/p>\n

IRENE<\/u><\/strong>
Thanks. I was performing cleansing rites on this house.<\/p>\n

PAT<\/u><\/strong>
Thom\u2019s not evil….just shallow. But I know some really evil people over on Green Terrace Drive. Wanna go burn their house down?<\/p>\n

IRENE<\/u><\/strong>
Love to!<\/p>\n

IRENE and PAT talk as they exit<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

PAT<\/u><\/strong>
Is that the Sprinklemaster deluxe Holy Water Sprinkler from Cleanse Co?<\/p>\n

IRENE<\/u><\/strong>
Yes, and I got the power sprayer attachment for cleansing entire office buildings too.<\/p>\n

PAT<\/u><\/strong>
Nice<\/p>\n

LESLIE shouts from offstage in the house.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

LESLIE<\/u><\/strong>
Hey Thom! Zeke and Floyd are purifying the Twister mat so we can play naked.<\/p>\n

THOM<\/u><\/strong>
Coming!!!<\/p>\n

BLACK OUT<\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Happy Halloween Everybody! Let’s drop a little sketch into that goody bag shall we? It’s sugar free, but I won’t gurantee it’s razor-blade free. This week’s theme was “Trick or Treat” – and since I offered it up, I tried to get as many variations of tricks, treats and trick-or-treating into the sketch as possible. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[73,76,89,180,218],"class_list":["post-139","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-friday-sketch-war","tag-fsw","tag-halloween","tag-sketch","tag-trick-or-treat"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/139","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=139"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/139\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=139"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=139"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=139"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}