{"id":122,"date":"2008-09-26T06:56:00","date_gmt":"2008-09-26T14:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wwwold.sketchwar.org\/?p=122"},"modified":"2008-09-26T06:56:00","modified_gmt":"2008-09-26T14:56:00","slug":"fsw-job-hunting-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/?p=122","title":{"rendered":"FSW: Job Hunting Edition"},"content":{"rendered":"

What a timely theme, as thousands of brokers, bankers and theives are looking for work. And oddly enough, Ken, Richard and I as seem to playing in the same ballpark with our sketches. I wonder why?<\/p>\n

Richard’s recruiters have <\/em>the right man <\/em><\/a>for the job.<\/p>\n

Ken’s rolling out a <\/em>new talk show <\/em><\/a>hosted by everyone’s favorite moose hunter.<\/em>
<\/em>
Next week’s theme, if there is a next week, is Apocalypse<\/strong>. <\/em>
<\/em>
Here’s my sketch. I wrote it last night watching the news. Enjoy.<\/em><\/p>\n

Curious George Visits the Farm<\/p>\n

(June 23, 2009. We are in the kitchen of the Bush Ranch House in Crawford, Texas. Laura is trying to make breakfast. George is constantly getting in her way.)<\/p>\n

Laura: George, for cryin\u2019 out loud. I thought you said you were gonna to help.<\/p>\n

George: I am helpin\u2019.<\/p>\n

Laura: What\u2019s this?<\/p>\n

(She holds up a skillet with a dozen eggs smashed into it, shells and all.)<\/p>\n

George: Well, you just said eggs and I wasn\u2019t sure which part or how many you wanted so I put the whole thing in there.<\/p>\n

Laura: (Sighs) When are you going to get a job and get out of my hair?<\/p>\n

George: Laura, I\u2019ve been looking for a job since December. With the economy in the crapper, there\u2019s just nobody hiring. I\u2019ve called almost every business, baseball team and college in the country and none of them need a new commander in chief.<\/p>\n

Laura: Did you call that recruiter and ask about the travelling lecturer position?<\/p>\n

George: Yeah, but I think that fella was having some sort of break down. I\u2019d no more than said my name and he just started laughing hysterically and didn\u2019t stop.<\/p>\n

Laura: Well, you\u2019ve gotta do something before I go out of my mind. Why don\u2019t you head over to Jasper\u2019s farm. I heard Maebell say they were looking for some help.<\/p>\n

George: Aw, honey, can\u2019t I just stay here and clear brush?<\/p>\n

Laura: George, there\u2019s not a lick of brush left on this ranch. You\u2019ve cut, hacked and weed-whacked every piece of vegetation in a three mile radius. Go to Jasper\u2019s. Tell him I sent ya.<\/p>\n

George: But honey\u2026<\/p>\n

Laura: Go on! Get!<\/p>\n

(We jump to Jasper\u2019s Farm. Jasper is working on a tractor. George kicks one of the tires.)<\/p>\n

George: So anyways, Laura thought maybe I could be of some assistance to you.<\/p>\n

Jasper: I don\u2019t really see how George.<\/p>\n

George: I’ve got some ideas.<\/p>\n

Jasper: Do you now?<\/p>\n

George: I was thinking maybe we could invade Hamilton\u2019s farm, take over their crop as well. That way you\u2019d have twice as much corn to bring to market.<\/p>\n

Jasper: Ah, George, it doesn\u2019t quite work like that.<\/p>\n

George: Well, we could always just torch it all. Make it so he has nothing to sell, thus increasing the worth of your crop.<\/p>\n

Jasper: You know, George, I\u2019m afraid I can\u2019t help you.<\/p>\n

George: Please, Jasper. Laura said if I came back without a job she was gonna put me in a time out.<\/p>\n

(Jasper scratches his head, thinking.)<\/p>\n

Jasper: Well, I do have a problem that maybe you could help me with.<\/p>\n

George: I\u2019m your man, Jasper.<\/p>\n

(We jump to the middle of Jasper\u2019s corn field. George is wearing overalls and has bells and shiny pieces of metal tied to his arms. He is standing on a small perch, with his arms tied straight out to a cross beam, as if he\u2019s been crucified. A Secret Service Agent stands on the ground at his side.)<\/p>\n

George: Can you believe this? All I gotta do is stand out here and watch over the corn.<\/p>\n

Agent: Yes, sir.<\/p>\n

George: I bet Clinton will be jealous when he finds out.<\/p>\n

Agent: Yes, sir.<\/p>\n

(A crow lands on George\u2019s arm.)<\/p>\n

George: Would you look at that. I think he likes me.<\/p>\n

(The crow begins pecking at George\u2019s eyes.)<\/p>\n

George: Ow! Hey, bird, stop that. Ow! I don\u2019t think he likes me no more. Ow!<\/p>\n

(More crows join in and soon George is covered with the black birds. His cries are drowned out by the cawing of the happy, feasting birds. The Secret Service Agent, out of reflex, takes a step towards George, but then stops himself, looks around, and heads back to the farm house.)<\/p>\n

And the world lived happily ever after\u2026.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What a timely theme, as thousands of brokers, bankers and theives are looking for work. And oddly enough, Ken, Richard and I as seem to playing in the same ballpark with our sketches. I wonder why? Richard’s recruiters have the right man for the job. Ken’s rolling out a new talk show hosted by everyone’s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[110,182],"class_list":["post-122","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-job-hunting","tag-sketch-war"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/122","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=122"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/122\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=122"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=122"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=122"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}