{"id":115,"date":"2008-09-12T11:48:00","date_gmt":"2008-09-12T19:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wwwold.sketchwar.org\/?p=115"},"modified":"2008-09-12T11:48:00","modified_gmt":"2008-09-12T19:48:00","slug":"fsw-spare-changes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/?p=115","title":{"rendered":"FSW: Spare Changes"},"content":{"rendered":"

If I keep this up, the west coast guy is going to get a reputation for consistently being late to post! What can I say – we San Franciscans just get lost in our gay marriages and medical marijuana \ud83d\ude42<\/span><\/p>\n

Speaking of such radical things, this weeks theme (provided by Michael), was “change”<\/strong> . I decided to play with the word change on two levels, as well as working on a more relationship \\ character based slice of life scene (with a healthy does of satirical social commentary as well…t least I HOPE that’s how it comes off \ud83d\ude42 <\/span><\/p>\n

RICHARD (not Robert…sorry about that Richard….see aformementioned note about medical marijuana) gave us the kind of change we could only get through super-powers <\/a>(“form of a pig…with lipstick”), and Michael helps us look at the bright side of life <\/a>(feel free to whistle along, Monty Python fans).<\/span><\/p>\n

And….since it appears I’ve been given the honor of picking the topic for next week…<\/span><\/p>\n

I was very tempted to pick “lipstick on a pig” as our theme, but I’ll veer away from political inspiration this round.<\/span><\/p>\n

Instead, our theme will be (drum roll, please)……..SPORTS
<\/strong>in honor of this being the time of year when Baseball winds down and footbal ramps up.<\/span><\/p>\n

___________________________________________________________________<\/span><\/p>\n

EXT. – COMMUTER TRAIN STATION – DAY<\/strong><\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>, a well dressed business man in a suit, stands waiting for the morning train into the city, Wall Street Journal tucked under one arm, sipping a Grande Starbuck\u2019s coffee. A few other well heeled commuters also stand around the platform waiting for their train.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong>, a ragged homeless-looking black man stumbles up onto the platform. He approaches a few of the commuters panhandling. All of them turn him down, ignore him, or just step away in disgust. Finally, RAOUL<\/strong> approaches CHARLIE<\/strong>.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong>
<\/u>Hey man, can you help a brother out?<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>Sorry….I Don\u2019t have any change.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/u><\/strong>
Change?? I didn\u2019t say shit about change….can\u2019t buy shit with change now days. I asked for some help…but you wanna share some cash I\u2019ll haul off a few dead presidents for you! Ha ha!<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong> <\/u>
I don\u2019t have anything smaller than a twenty.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong> holds out his hand with a smile, waiting for CHARLIE<\/strong> to hand it over.<\/em>
<\/span>
CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>I\u2019m not giving you 20 dollars.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong>
<\/u>Tell you what…give me that twenty, and I\u2019ll go get change for you.<\/p>\n

RAOUL <\/strong>holds out his hand and smiles again
CHARLIE<\/strong> just stares at RAOUL<\/strong> for a moment in disbelief<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>I forgot….I don\u2019t have any cash on me right now…I didn\u2019t have a chance to go by an ATM last night.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong>
<\/u>You got NO cash on you at all???<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/u><\/strong>
Nope<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong> <\/u>
Rich lookin\u2019 muthafucka like you?<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>Zilch<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong>
<\/u>Not even single ratty old Benjamin you keep stuffed in your shoe for emergencies?<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/u>
<\/strong>Not a single bill.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong>
<\/u>So how\u2019d you pay for that coffee?<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>Starbuck\u2019s card.<\/p>\n

RAOUL looks frustrated, and starts to go, then turns back.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/u><\/strong>
Train fare?<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>Commuter card.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong>
<\/u>Shit<\/p>\n

Starts to leave again….but gets an idea for one last go<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong> <\/u>
How you buyin\u2019 your lunch?<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>Debit-ATM card.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong>
<\/u>Goddamn plastic cards everywhere man – no wonder the planet\u2019s fucked.<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/u><\/strong>
Excuse me.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong>
<\/u>Planet-fucking asshole.<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>You have no right to pass any judgment on me, my stinky little friend!<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong>
<\/u>I have every damn right man! You middle class money-sluts fuck up everything you touch. I\u2019m out here living the utopian ideal.<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/u><\/strong>
Oh please!<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong> <\/u>
Man, dig this – I don\u2019t commute, so I don\u2019t pollute. I eat what other people were going to throw away. I wear what others are done wearing.<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/u><\/strong>
And you smell like a baboon.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/u><\/strong>
I don\u2019t fuckin\u2019 shower man…I don\u2019t waste no water!!! I live wherever I want, under whatever I find, no house made from no cut-down forest, don\u2019t use no electricity generated from no fossil fuels, don\u2019t use no air conditioning leaking toxic chemicals….<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/u><\/strong>
You pay no property taxes so you do nothing to help the community. You pay no income tax, so you do nothing to help clean up the environment or get homeless people off the streets. You consume no fuel, so you create no profit for companies developing alternative energy sources…<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/u><\/strong>
Blah-dy blah-dy blah-dy blah-dy blah-dy blah. You\u2019re just scramblin\u2019 your ass off to fix what you fucked up. I\u2019m not fucking nothing up to begin with, so it ain\u2019t my job to pay for fixin\u2019 it.<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong> <\/u>
Give me a break. You\u2019re just making excuses for being a worthless drain on society.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong> <\/u>
And you\u2019re living your entire life in denial, trying to buy off your guilt for messing things up.<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>I have nothing to feel guilty about. I live a good environmentally conscientious Christians lifestyle.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/u><\/strong>
Man, you\u2019re a middle class white guy….every last bit of shit in the world is your fucking fault! Racism, sexism, holy wars, genocide, diabetes, heart disease, Michael Bolton, keeping \u201cTwo and a Half Men\u201d at the top of the Nielsen ratings….ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!!<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>Look, you\u2019re getting a little loud, let\u2019s calm down…<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong> <\/u>
Oh….the homeless black man is getting a little too uppity for the nice white man…overstepping his station in life…<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>(Looking around the platform)<\/span><\/em>
People are starting to stare…let\u2019s just tone this down.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong>
<\/u>You can\u2019t even look at me, can you….you look at me and all you see is guilt…guilt for sucking up money that could be distributed amongst everyone in society instead of being hoovered up by the elitist white minority to upgrade their iPhones.<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong> <\/u>
I have
\nn\u2019t upgraded, I\u2019m waiting for them to fix the 3G issues….<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong>
<\/u>When you look at me, you see thousands of years of oppression, of your kind screwing over people that didn\u2019t look like you, didn\u2019t pray like you, or just plain got a bit too uppity for you<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>Quiet down friend…people are starting to stare.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong> <\/u>
Man, I ain\u2019t you\u2019re god damn friend! I am your goddamn stepping stool!!<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/u><\/strong>
Look, pal…<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/u><\/strong>
I\u2019m a man…respect me and call me by the name my mama gave me!!!<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong> <\/u>
You haven\u2019t told me your name!!!<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong>
<\/u>That\u2019s your own goddamn fault!<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong> <\/u>
(noticing people staring)<\/em>
<\/span>Just, please…quiet down….you\u2019re making a scene.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong>
Ohhhhhh….I see how it is. Big bad money-making white dude can\u2019t handle a helpless little homeless man. Mr. middle-class gettin\u2019 all embarrassed that other white folks see him crumble in the face of the ugly truth.<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>I\u2019m….I feel no guilt…it\u2019s my fault you\u2019re homeless….it\u2019s your choices that have..<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong> <\/u>
(to the crowd)<\/span><\/em>
THAT\u2019S RIGHT PEOPLE….MR. WALL STREET FUCKING-JOURNAL HERE CAN\u2019T HANDLE ONE DOWN ON HIS LUCK BLACK MAN!!! MR. MONEY BAGS WOULD RATHER SPEND HIS WHOLE LIFE SHOVELING MONEY INTO A CORRUPT SYSTEM…A SYSTEM THAT HIDES PEOPLE IN SHELTERS!!! HE WANTS A WORLD WHERE HIS VIEW ISN\u2019T CLUTTERED WITH POOR PEOPLE SO HE CAN DRINK HIS LATTE IN PEACE!!!<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>Oh God….<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong>
<\/u>HE WANTS SOME CORPORATE MEGAPOWER TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE POOR BLACK PEOPLE INTO CLEAN BURNING FUEL FOR HIS GODDAMN LEXUS!!!<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>I never said that…I…<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong> <\/u>
I COULD BE THE SECOND GODDAMN COMING OF JESUS-FUCKING-CHRIST, BUT AS LONG AS I\u2019M A POOR BLACK MAN THIS RICH FUCKER HERE WOULD TURN JEW BEFORE HE GAVE ME A SINGLE DOLLAR!!!<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>Look…I just remembered I keep some money in my briefcase…here\u2019s a ten.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong> <\/u>
I ain\u2019t takin\u2019 that.<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>What?<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong> <\/u>
I ain\u2019t takin your goddamn dirty money. I will not be pulled out of Utopia by your hush-money, Satan.<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>But this all started with…<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong>
<\/u>(for the benefit of other commuters)<\/em>
<\/span>I DO NOT WANT YOUR GOD DAMN GUILT MONEY, WHITE DEVIL!!! YOU CAN\u2019T BUY YOUR CONSCIENCE BACK FROM ME, OPPRESSOR!!!<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>Look….here\u2019s a twenty….you said you\u2019d take a twenty earlier, right?<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong>
<\/u>(again performing)<\/em>
<\/span>RICH WHITE MAN BUYS CONSCIENCE FROM POOR NIGGER FOR TWENTY BUCKS…FILM AT ELEVEN!!!<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong> <\/u>
Oh dear God…look, here\u2019s a hundred and fifteen dollars, and my Starbuck\u2019s card…there\u2019s still thirty-five dollars on it…all yours if you\u2019ll just stop this…please!!!<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong> thinks it over<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong> <\/u>
Can you get them breakfast sandwiches with that card?<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>Yes…it\u2019s Good for anything in the place<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/u><\/strong>
Whole bean coffee?<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>Yes…everything<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong> thinks it over even more<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/u><\/strong>
Alright…I accept your guilt money, and your environment-destroying cash card to the white supremacist coffee empire, in the name of restoring peace to my Utopia.<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>Thank you.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/u><\/strong>
I can see you feel real regret, and have rethought your place in the world.<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>You have no idea.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong> <\/u>
This doesn\u2019t absolve you from your crimes or relieve you of your guilt.<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/strong>
<\/u>I know.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong> <\/u>
Alright. You\u2019ve got a a good heart under that oppressor\u2019s skin.<\/p>\n

CHARLIE<\/u><\/strong>
Thank you. And I’m truly sorry for everything my people have ever done to yours…I’ll spend the rest of my life being unbelievably aware of that, and trying to find a way to make it right.<\/p>\n

RAOUL<\/strong> walks off stage. CHARLIE<\/strong> closes up his briefcase, relived that it\u2019s all over.<\/p>\n

RAOUL <\/strong>suddenly darts back on stage and over to CHARLIE<\/strong><\/span><\/span>
<\/em>
RAOUL<\/u><\/strong>
Say, you gonna be back for the morning commute tomorrow?<\/p>\n

BLACK OUT<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If I keep this up, the west coast guy is going to get a reputation for consistently being late to post! What can I say – we San Franciscans just get lost in our gay marriages and medical marijuana \ud83d\ude42 Speaking of such radical things, this weeks theme (provided by Michael), was “change” . I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[42,73,76,94],"class_list":["post-115","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-change","tag-friday-sketch-war","tag-fsw","tag-homeless"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/115","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=115"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/115\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=115"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=115"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=115"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}