Here’s my commentary for the 5/13/09 round of Sketchwar, which had the theme “Interviews That Never Aired.”

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With cable, satellite, and millions of websites streaming content, 24/7/52/7/7¹ straight into our brains² you’d think we’d be hard-pressed to find any interviews that hadn’t filled up *someone’s* empty airtime. I mean, have you *seen* the crap on FOX and CNN?

But succeed we did, three times over. These interviews have been in the vaults, in one case for millenia, and unseen by the public until this week. Aren’t you lucky!

• Coyote dusted off an oldie. A *really* oldie. This interview has been locked away for MMLIII years…
• Lynn’s entry hasn’t been in the vault as long, but her subject is well over *6000* years old…
• Peter didn’t go deep, but he did the unthinkable: he found the first, last, and only honest athlete.

We’ve got friends, Romans, and quarterbacks this week. Take a look and don’t forget to send your friends on by. We’re always open.

Next week’s cue promises to be explosive. Be sure to come back around when the sketch warriors take on, The State of Healthcare.

If you think you’ve got the comedy chops to do battle with our scarred and bitter warriors, if you dare step into the hailstorm of seltzer and cream pies, if you think you’re MAN ENOUGH or WOMAN ENOUGH to make us laugh, write a sketch and contact us at submissions(nospam)@sketchwar.org.

1. That’s 24 hours in a day, by seven days in a week, by 52 weeks in a year, by seven years between sabbaticals, by seven sabbatical cycles in a jubilee. I mean, we’ve got a LOT of content. [↩]
2. The aluminum foil hat doesn’t go with my shoes. [↩]

Hi all — here’s my take on the “Interviews that Never Aired” edition of Sketchwar.

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How many stupid questions does it take to incite the rapture?

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Being a radio interview conducted on the floor of the Roman Forum, 15 March, 44 B.C.

[scrippet]
Sounds of cheering and applause.

CICERO
Brutus! Brutus! Do you have a minute?
(Beat)
Brutus, that was a hell of a shot there. Was that something you’d drawn up, or did you just take the dagger and create?

BRUTUS
We’ve got a lot of set plays for situations like these, Cicero. What we were trying to run there was a play called Red Rubicon Right, but Caesar anticipated and defended against it so I had to improvise.
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