“Technology”

FADE IN: 

EXT. FILM SET – NIGHT

A DIRECTOR walks down an old city street.

He reads some papers while walking past the stuff you’d find on a film shoot: a trailer, some spare lighting equipment, and so on.

Behind him there’s a sudden PUFF OF SMOKE.

Out of it appears a TIME TRAVELLER wearing futuristic clothes.

He beelines to the director.

TIME TRAVELLER

Pardon, sir, are you Dave?

DIRECTOR

No. I’m the director, mate.

TIME TRAVELLER

But I was told to meet David Warrington at these exact coordinates in spacetime.

The director goes back to reading and walking.

The time traveller trails along behind him.

DIRECTOR

Em, talk to the AD.

Another PUFF OF SMOKE brings us TIME TRAVELLERS #2 and #3, dressed in some futuristic version of a ‘tweedy academic’ look.

They stop the director.

TIME TRAVELLER #2

Sir! The Thatcher event -- is it nearby?

DIRECTOR

Don’t know what you’re talking about, mate.

TIME TRAVELLER #3

She’s giving a speech of great historical significance at this place and time.

TIME TRAVELLER #2

This is Wednesday night, isn’t it? The 15th?

DIRECTOR

Look. You both sound very confused, but I can’t help you.

He resumes walking and reading.

The others follow.

Puff of smoke: TIME TRAVELLER #4, TIME TRAVELLER #5, and TIME TRAVELLER #6 appear, wearing robes.

TIME TRAVELLER #4

Mister? This is the orgy, right?

DIRECTOR

People, this is a closed set. All of you lot shove off!

The director finally arrives at --

THE MAIN SET

TECHNICIANS point lights and cameras at a brickwork colonnade alongside the street.

The director sits in his empty director’s chair.

DIRECTOR

Cue the music. Let’s go, Rick.

80’s-era RICK ASTLEY walks onset wearing a beige trenchcoat over all-black.

TIME TRAVELLER #2

Oh, no.

A sound system PLAYS BACK “NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP”.

Rick dances for the camera and sings along.

RICK ASTLEY

Never gonna give you up / Never gonna let you down / Never gonna run around / And hurt you...

And so on.

SUPER: “Technology. We just wind up using it for stupid crap.”

Meanwhile --

-- the various time travellers shrug and start dancing.

-- a gray-skinned alien appears in a PUFF OF SMOKE, takes in the scene, makes a rude gesture, and stalks off.

FADE TO BLACK.