Facebook of Genesis

27 February 2009
by

God joined Facebook.

God changed his Profile Picture.

God is now friends with Lucifer.
Lucifer: ’Sup! Welcome! (Careful, it’s addictive!)

God joined the group Heaven and Earth.

God is letting there be light.

God is separating the land from the sea.
Lucifer: Nice work. I hate when it’s all soggy.
God: I know, right? I can’t have cake and ice cream touching either.
Lucifer: WORD

God has added the application (Lil) Green Patch.

God has added a Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil to his (Lil) Green Patch.
Lucifer: Awesome!

God is telling the creatures of the air and sea to multiply.
Lucifer: Baby birds. Are. ADORABLE! Squee!

God added Sun, Moon, and Stars to his Creations.
Lucifer: Sooooo jealous!

God added Wild Beasts, Livestock, and Reptiles to his Creations.
Lucifer: I can haz lizardburger?
God: Wha…?

Lucifer posted a link: I Can Has Cheezburger?
God: HA!!

God added Man to his Creations.

God and Adam are now friends.

God is seeing that it is good.

Lucifer and Adam are now friends via the People You May Know tool.

Lucifer wrote on Adam’s Wall.
Lucifer: Yo! How’s it hanging?
Adam: ??
Lucifer: That Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil is something isn’t it?
Adam: ??

God wrote a new note: Just a reminder: you’re not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

Adam became a fan of Rabbits.
RABBITS are rodents known for their speed and luck.

Adam became a fan of Watermelons.
WATERMELONS are large fruits with hard, green rinds and sweet, pink flesh dotted with black seeds.

Adam became a fan of Clouds.
CLOUDS are amorphous masses of moisture suspended in the air.

Adam tagged God in his note 25 Random Things About Me.
God: Gotcha. I’ll see what I can do.

God added Woman to his Creations.
Adam: EXACTLY what I was thinking.

God and Eve are now friends.

Adam and Eve are now friends.

Lucifer and Eve are now friends.

Adam has a pain in his chest.
God: That will go away.

Adam changed his status to in a relationship.
Lucifer: Congrats!

Eve changed her status to in a relationship.
Lucifer: Mazel tov!

Adam created a new album: Awesome Animals I Have Named.
God: “Ibex”? Really?

Lucifer wrote on Eve’s Wall.
Lucifer: Have you ever seen a baby bird?
Eve: ??
Lucifer: They are adorable. I think there’s a new nest in the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.
Eve: ??

Lucifer wrote on Adam’s Wall.
Lucifer: I am STARVING. Could go for an apple. You in?
Adam: Sure.

God wrote a new note: Eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil will result in death. FYI.

Adam is just noticing something: he is naked.

God created an event: Get out of the garden.
“Seriously. Out.”

God is no longer friends with Lucifer.

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19 Responses to “Facebook of Genesis”

  1. R.A. Porter Says:

    Dude, it might not exactly be a sketch, but that was fantastic. Really, really genius.

  2. feathermaye Says:

    It's brilliant and I loved it! Shared it through my Facebook and gave it a stumble, too.

  3. mbrownlee Says:

    Michael just peed a little from the laughing and the snorting.

  4. Stinton Says:

    Thanks a lot everyone!

    I fully admit that this is kind of a huge rationalization, but it occurred to me that a Facebook news feed page has a cast of characters, a (virtual) location, dialogue (of a sort) and stage directions, all built in. If I could tell a story through its various structures, it could be seen as a "sketch."

    That said, yeah, I kind of cheated. If we slide too far down a slippery slope of what constitutes a sketch, we'll find ourselves scrolling through pastiches of Icelandic poetry, and I don't think any of us wants that.

  5. cindylouwho1966 Says:

    Abso-freakin-lutely hysterical! I sent this on FB to my friends who "get" this kind of humor.

  6. Alisa Bowman Says:

    This is one of the funniest parodies (perhaps the only?) of Genesis I've ever read. Nice job.

  7. Neal Says:

    http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1764710

    Funnier and made WAY before this.

  8. E.L Raica Says:

    Not really. Actually, the one you're claiming is so funny is way too confusing and more difficult to understand. I got completely lost reading it. Dave's sketch gets to the point much faster and is therefore much funnier. Who are you anyway? Unless you have something constructive and positive to offer, get the hell out of the garden.

  9. R.A. Porter Says:

    I'll grant that it was earlier than Dave's. But funnier? I'll have to disagree with you on that point. A lot.

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    Good post… I don’t normally comment, but wanted to say thanks for the insite. – Charly

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