Cicero and Brutus
11 May 2009
by R.A. Porter
Being a radio interview conducted on the floor of the Roman Forum, 15 March, 44 B.C.
Sounds of cheering and applause.
CICERO
Brutus! Brutus! Do you have a minute?
(Beat)
Brutus, that was a hell of a shot there. Was that something you’d drawn up, or did you just take the dagger and create?
BRUTUS
We’ve got a lot of set plays for situations like these, Cicero. What we were trying to run there was a play called Red Rubicon Right, but Caesar anticipated and defended against it so I had to improvise.
CICERO
It certainly helped having the sixty to one power play.
BRUTUS
It did, but that wasn’t just luck. We worked hard to put ourselves in that position and it payed off.
CICERO
Everyone had written you off, so it must feel pretty good to pull off the upset tonight
BRUTUS
It does. I want to thank Jupiter for helping me strike true tonight.
CICERO
A lot of Caesar’s fans are upset by the outcome. Do you have anything to say to them?
A rustle of paper as Brutus pulls a prepared statement from his toga and clears his throat. He reads the statement with little emotion.
BRUTUS
If some people are upset by my actions, I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to them. Now is the time to put all this behind us and come together as a Republic, but I take full responsibility for my actions.
CICERO
Rumor has it the Visigoths are itching for a rematch. What do you have to say about that?
BRUTUS
Oh, we welcome the challenge.
CICERO
What’s next for the Senate?
BRUTUS
We’ve got a tough home stand coming up against Mark Antony and that new kid, Octavian.
CICERO
That’s right. They picked Lepidus up off waivers, too. Right?
BRUTUS
That’s what I hear. We can’t rest on our laurels, and if we try to look past these two we’ll be out of this thing before we even get started. That’s a tough team and it’s going to take everything we’ve got to go up against them.
CICERO
Thanks for taking the time, Brutus. I know you’ve got a lot ahead of you, but before you go...you’ve just killed Rome’s Dictator for Life. What are you going to do now?
BRUTUS
I’m going to Crete!
May 14th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Was able to just get to this today. Ah, nothing says comedy more than the betrayal and slaying of an evil dictator. Though I hardly think Cicero is keeping an objective distance here – sneaky little bastard. Fox News, ancient Rome style. Nice job.
May 14th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Thanks! I will try to get to yours later today. I've been *buried* lately.
May 15th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
[...] Coyote dusted off an oldie. A *really* oldie. This interview has been locked away for MMLIII years… [...]
July 29th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
[...] “Cicero and Brutus” I admit, this didn’t strike me as the most promising comic material — a post-game-style interview following the assassination of Julius Caesar — but it starting winning me over in short order. “Sixty-to-one power play” is just plain funny, as is thanking Jupiter for your victory. [...]
November 29th, 2009 at 3:08 am
Hi my name is Sabrina. I was surfing and found your blog, which I liked very much, which is quite pleasant to read. I return next week to read you again. Greetings Sabrina
January 25th, 2010 at 9:02 am
Six pack abs…
easy six pack guides…